Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Come on, tell me the truth: When Stephen King buys a machine so that three small towns in Maine can scan the irises of all the school kids, you’re at least a little bit worried, aren’t you? C’mon. Anyway, for now, the sheriff in Eddington (pop. 700) is grateful for the help (though it may be that he’s just imagining who’ll play him in the movie).

Wisconsin judge Michael Lucci wrote two weeks ago [Backstage, 11-16-2006] that he was thinking over what to do about the guy who had sex with the dead deer but whose lawyer had challenged the anti-bestiality statute as applicable only to live animals. Answer: Guilty (because of the venerable legal doctrine of "common sense," which is honored only sporadically in the U.S.). Protection of animals is but one purpose of the statute, he wrote; maintaining public decency is more important, so dead equals alive equals whatever.

Below The Fold
It’s not just with headphones anymore: A 40-yr-old, bare-eared man chose "railroad tracks" as his jogging path in Kingston, Ontario, and was smacked hard by a train . . . . . Yikes! The Food and Drug Administration is apparently tired of haggling with the Red Cross over its sloppy record-keeping, storage procedures, etc., for its blood supplies and fined it $5.7m . . . . . A Jackson, Wis., man has done all the required Guinness Book paperwork to get recognition for his one, 4.1-inch-long arm hair that he’s apparently quite proud of . . . . . People with worse sex lives than you: Bryan Westerlund, 18, Brooklyn Park, Minn., hovered outside of bedroom windows begging women for sex and would even thrust his hand through the screen . . . . . A driver in Yokkaichi, Japan, apparently thought he owned the printout of his DUI test, that it was OK for him to just eat it, and he expressed surprise that police thought it a crime . . . . . Last words: "You can’t shoot me, I’m invisible" (uttered by the late Richard Johnson, after James Quick got fed up with Johnson’s reneging on a $20 bet on the Clemson-South Carolina football game Saturday).