Monday, November 27, 2006

The F state’s kinder, gentler version of Michael Richards: The city manager of a place called Golden Beach (pop. 919 rich people, up a ways from North Miami Beach) said she never meant any harm when she referred to her mature assistant (a black woman) as "mammy," but then, apparently mortified that she’d upset the woman, tried to make things right by assuring her just how much she’s always loved "Aunt Jemima." (Seriously.)

Another TKMB ("the kid’s mother’s boyfriend): Derrick Henry (in Prince Edward Island) was minding his girlfriend’s 10-month-old when she got too warm. He tried a cool cloth, but she stayed warm, and taking her outside in the cold didn’t do the trick, either, so he stuck her in the freezer (just for a minute or so, he said).

Can’t Possibly Be True: CNN Money has found 10 toys pitched for kids who, if they don’t think they’re better than you are now, soon will, ranging in price from $3k up to a fancy backyard playset from for $97.5k. (Don’t miss the Victorian mansion playhouse [FAO Schwarz, $22k], the Pirate-themed clubhouse [Costco, $18.5k], the Lego Batman [FAO Schwarz, $27k], the gasoline-powered 2-seater [Mobileation Stores, $32.3k], and the Fantasy Cinderella-style Coach [Poshtots, $47k].)

Below The Fold
Guy goes to the trouble of flying 5,500 miles to get laid (and now faces a max of 145 yrs, in that she was not a cop but an actual Internet chat room 15-yr-old) . . . . . A rock music festival in Pyongyang, according to the North Korean gov’t . . . . . People get angry with loud, inconveniencing construction crews from time to time and want to fight ‘em, but here’s a guy who showed up with actual boxing gloves . . . . . The United Nations is sick of its affiliated charities selling sponsorships to celebrities and companies like Gucci, just so rich people can sleep better at night . . . . . How embarrassing: A 19-yr-old man with a rap sheet, on trial for robbery, being defended by his lawyer-mother, stands up to leave the courtroom when a bag of dope falls out of his pocket . . . . . Burglars have probably made their getaways before in taxicabs, but probably not burglars carrying away a "large safe" . . . . . Some Australians are spending more money on gourmet pet food than they spend on gourmet human food . . . . . China culture frowns on smiling (in favor of the serious look), but a crash course is underway to upgrade hospitality for the 2008 Olympics, meaning seminars and group sessions on how to smile . . . . . Sweden’s about to release two men altogether from murder charges, even though both were with the victim when she died, because each blames the other, meaning neither can be guilty "beyond a reasonable doubt" . . . . . A jail in Petersborough, England, has big plans for the holidays, with parties for the inmates and even cash gifts (when all that the jailers get for the holidays is a small box of chocolates) . . . . . Headline from Australia: "Rain Frustrates Bushfire Fight."