Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Oh, Yr Editor thought it was breathtaking to report yesterday [Backstage, 10-31-2006] that Mayan Indians in Mexico’s Yucatan cleaned their deceased family members’ bones once a yr, but the Associated Press referred us this week to a skull-cleaning service in Oklahoma City that has to clean them because it’s the world’s leading supplier of skeletons. Carvers do the initial separation of the tissue from the bone, but then the bones go into the tanks of dermestid beetles, which eat ‘em clean. The whole idea (and the smell) doesn’t seem to bother the workers (as one was chomping on potato chips while he worked), and the production manager said, "I’ve been waist-deep in a dead hippopotamus, and I’d rather do that than change diapers."

The F State
A flood at the jail in Fort Pierce was caused by a female inmate who allegedly was using the nozzle on the overhead sprinkler in her cell to trim her hair weave . . . . . The state wildlife people said they are considering relaxing the law requiring people to call expert trappers to deal with wild alligators on their property, and letting people wrangle the damned things out of there, themselves! (and Yr Editor is clearing out space for the great stories sure to come) . . . . . And what passes for baby-sitting in the F State: duct-taping your kids down while you go to work.

Below The Fold
The big Tel Aviv newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reports more collateral damage from the recent war with Hezbollah: tougher border security and, consequently, rising marijuana prices in Israel . . . . . Who needs Zoloft for depression when you get relief from just putting pictures of your stuff on women’s car windows? . . . . . It’s apparently a big issue in the Czech Republic (where abandoned mausoleums become property of the gov’t) that a hard-up city is willing to sell off a tomb as a "recreational" retreat (after re-burying the residents) [still looking for it online] . . . . . New Orleans Saints’ QB Drew Brees, at war with his over-aggressive mom for 6 yrs, orders her not to mention him in her campaign ads for judge in Texas (judge?) . . . . . One brother had a sword, the other a bathroom plunger; the plunger drew first suction; but when the suckee struggled to unstick himself, his sword accidentally slashed his brother . . . . . God’s Will: An angelic-looking 17-yr-old with a Bible, saying "I want Jesus," starts acting crazy, and cops Taser him, and his wish is granted . . . . . Should have been Tasered, but wasn't, was a Maine lawyer who decided to dress as Osama and walk along the road with a fake gun and fake dynamite—to protest a local tax issue . . . . . I can’t find the original release yet online, but the Reuters report from Seoul said the KCNA news agency in North Korea was touting its world-class magicians, who perform card tricks and stuff and the coup de grâce: catfish-juggling (and "general jugglery").