Saturday, December 16, 2006

Below The Fold
Clowns need good fortune, too, so 200 of them marched through Mexico City on Wednesday to their annual prayer at the Basilica of the Virgin of Guadalupe . . . . . A 3-yr-old boy wet his pants, so the obvious solution for the skills-challenged custodian: toss him in the dryer for a few minutes . . . . . Miss USA Tara Conner, not yet 21, is on the verge of being defrocked of her crown after one-too-many bouts of (underage) boozing . . . . . In Union, S.C., the unluckiest man in America (in that he’s the only one, out of five zillion violators, who got caught illegally parking in a handicapped space) . . . . . Assault with deadly (or at least hep-C-laden) choppers . . . . . The Project on Gov’t Oversight charged (and Dept. of Energy has not yet denied) that excessive pressure applied to a warhead caused a "near miss" of an explosion (but, relax, it was only Amarillo, Tex.) . . . . . Manuel Uribe, who weighed 1,316 lbs., is down to 965 thanks to The Zone diet, and he looks great! [Warning! Here’s the link, but do not click it! Warning!] . . . . . Don’t call it a "do-nothing Congress" because it did enact 383 pieces of legislation in 2 yrs (even though about 100 of those were about naming federal buildings, including a post office named after Karl Malden) . . . . . [Aren’t you sorry you clicked that fat-man link? I tried to help you.] . . . . . Julie Figueroa, 43, will serve at least 9 months’ hard time for making her kids take nude pictures of her (and on top of that, she got attitude when the bailiffs cuffed her) . . . . . Terry Cook, working the counter at a Git-N-Go in Des Moines, Iowa, is one smart cookie, in that, if he sees a thumb sticking up out of a perp’s pocket, that’s a good sign the perp’s just pretending to have a gun, but nonetheless Cook had to argue with the guy for a few seconds about whether he had a real gun before the guy finally gave it up and walked out.