Below The Fold
Clowns need good fortune, too, so 200 of them marched through Mexico City on Wednesday to their annual prayer at the Basilica of the Virgin of Guadalupe . . . . . A 3-yr-old boy wet his pants, so the obvious solution for the skills-challenged custodian: toss him in the dryer for a few minutes . . . . . Miss USA Tara Conner, not yet 21, is on the verge of being defrocked of her crown after one-too-many bouts of (underage) boozing . . . . . In Union, S.C., the unluckiest man in America (in that he’s the only one, out of five zillion violators, who got caught illegally parking in a handicapped space) . . . . . Assault with deadly (or at least hep-C-laden) choppers . . . . . The Project on Gov’t Oversight charged (and Dept. of Energy has not yet denied) that excessive pressure applied to a warhead caused a "near miss" of an explosion (but, relax, it was only Amarillo, Tex.) . . . . . Manuel Uribe, who weighed 1,316 lbs., is down to 965 thanks to The Zone diet, and he looks great! [Warning! Here’s the link, but do not click it! Warning!] . . . . . Don’t call it a "do-nothing Congress" because it did enact 383 pieces of legislation in 2 yrs (even though about 100 of those were about naming federal buildings, including a post office named after Karl Malden) . . . . . [Aren’t you sorry you clicked that fat-man link? I tried to help you.] . . . . . Julie Figueroa, 43, will serve at least 9 months’ hard time for making her kids take nude pictures of her (and on top of that, she got attitude when the bailiffs cuffed her) . . . . . Terry Cook, working the counter at a Git-N-Go in Des Moines, Iowa, is one smart cookie, in that, if he sees a thumb sticking up out of a perp’s pocket, that’s a good sign the perp’s just pretending to have a gun, but nonetheless Cook had to argue with the guy for a few seconds about whether he had a real gun before the guy finally gave it up and walked out.