Saturday, December 09, 2006

A Berlin opera house thinks the city is ready, security-wise, for a Mozart show starting December 18 that features the severed (plaster-made) heads of Muhammad, Jesus, and Buddha, but you know what happens when you insult Buddha. The Buddhist fundamentalists riot, blow up airliners, start suicide-bombing! Relax, though: The heads are missing from the opera house’s prop room, anyway.

Recurring Theme: Debates Roil Churches.
(1) "Churches in Britain are a ‘toxic cocktail’ of bullying and terror, as parish priests struggle to lead congregations dominated by neurotic worshipers who spread havoc with gossip and manipulation," according to a Church of England report, one of whose authors warns of a new illness, "irritable clergy syndrome."
(2) Southern Baptist Convention continues to debate Acts 2, and First Corinthians 14, hoping to gain wisdom about whether to ban "speaking in tongues," or it may be that they just don’t much like Pentecostals or Assemblies of God or the wealthy T.D. Jakes.
(3) Christian stand-up comedian Brad Stine now runs the anti-Promise Keepers, which he calls GodMen, condemning the wussification of the church and urging male believers to cowboy-up. ("Thank you, Lord, for our testosterone!"). Cuss, make loud noises, deal with your penis. Tell your wife: "Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down."

Below The Fold
A UK unemployment-office regional manager in South London has banned Christmas decorations, but not for why you think: He says he doesn’t want to lay a happiness trip on jobless people . . . . . Police in Hagfors, Sweden, say they have finally used up a 1986 gross-overorder of supplies, most notably of toilet paper . . . . . Mass hysteria of adolescents isn’t just for the Third World anymore: try 32 fainting pupils removed by ambulance in South Yorkshire, England, but no organic cause was found . . . . . Gov. Timothy Kaine is apparently down with the program of Virginia governors who historically experience the paranormal while living at the Executive Mansion . . . . . The Utah Supreme Court grapples (at oral argument) with whether a girl, 13, who has consensual sex with her boyfriend, 12, can be simultaneously a victim and a perp ("The only thing [in the law] that comes close to this is dueling," said a Justice) . . . . . The "accountant" recently hired by the Dallas school district to fight fraud is revealed to have been de-certified as a CPA in 1996 . . . . . A sort-of free-lance disciplinarian appeared at the Mount Zion Christian Academy in Morrow, Ga., falsely claiming to be a relative of misbehaving kids, and whipping one.