Friday, December 08, 2006

The Continuing Campaign to Establish the Absolutely Perfect Society
In August, an 18-yr-old woman boarded a Long Island Rail Road train shit-faced and then fell between cars to her death. Now, a member of the board of New York’s Metropolitan Transit Authority has proposed to close down the trains’ bar cars. A spokesman for the LIRR said 2,000,000,000 passengers have ridden in the last 23 yrs without a single alcohol-related incident, and now this guy wants to shut down the bar cars.
The administrator of a pre-kindergarten near Waco, Tex., notified parents that their 4-yr-old urchin had engaged in inappropriate "sexual contact and/or sexual harassment." The kid rubbed his head against the chest of a female employee.
The U.S. Supreme Court refused this week to interfere with Congress’s required sentence that Weldon Angelos, since he was caught selling drugs while carrying a weapon, gets 55 yrs in prison, no ifs ands or buts. The Supremes thus rejected a brief filed by 145 federal prosecutors and four former U.S. attorneys general, pointing out that that sentence is 2x what would be given to someone who hijacked an airliner. No matter, said the Supremes (implicitly): It’s Congress’s call, and Congress believes we can’t be perfect until we eliminate marijuana.

Inside NOTW
Reader Mathew suggests a simpler, better way of phrasing what I meant to say when I inadvertently agitated the reader sensitive to transsexuals. I should just have written "female-to-male transsexual." That sounds a lot better to me than it must have sounded at the time I was composing the item. My bad.

Housekeeping
Speaking of bads, yesterday I totally blew the link to my other weblog, The F State. It’s fixed now, and here’s the correct one again. Good stuff today, too (always posted later in the day, though): I might not even have enough room to mention the guy who was doing marine research on whether the Garden of Eden (that’s the Biblical Garden of Eden) was actually located where Tarpon Springs, Fla., is now.

Below The Fold
South African ethnic Ndebele girls still do the traditional, month-long, becoming-a-woman rituals (cooking, housekeeping, intimacy), but they handle graduation all modern-like, giggling on cell phones to their friends . . . . . Quebec authorities filed charges against 19 people in an enterprise that used helicopters to chase moose around until they’re tired so that dilettantish "hunters" can more easily bag them . . . . . The Yokohama (Japan) Municipal Gov’t denied a hospital the right to name itself the Yokohama Mammary Gland and Gastrointestinal Hospital, which it says is somehow inappropriate . . . . . Nature reports this week that one species of bat has a tongue longer than its entire body . . . . . At a Dillard’s store at a mall in Mentor, Ohio, a fire broke out, with smoke everywhere, but Christmas-frenzied buyers still wouldn’t leave, and security guards had to stand at the door to keep shoppers out . . . . . Scott Kundar, 32, was sentenced to 9 months in prison for repeatedly calling three teens at home and asking about their feet . . . . . Calvin Fluckes, 21, was arrested at a suburban Detroit Wal-Mart for trying to pass an $848 counterfeit check, and there might have been a tussle over who got to make the collar, since 80 uniformed cops were in the store at the time for a charity event (with 40 squad cars in the parking lot).