Loophole in Sharia: An Iranian man is being hunted for making a hard-core porn video with a popular TV actress (with both of ‘em facing an orgy of lashes, at least, and maybe a capital stoning). However, their defense is that they had entered into one of those Islamic temp marriages [NOTW 942, 2-26-2006] just before the videocamming started (and he divorced her immediately afterward), making their act sacred. And, since he said the original video had been stolen, they are basically blameless for the epidemic of at least 100,000 copies circulating on the streets of Tehran.
OCD Bingo: First, that grandmother was busted last week in Arizona for dealing dope so she could play more bingo [Backstage, 12-2-2006]. Then Floyd Kinney Jr., 49, pleading guilty in Allentown, Pa., to raping two underage girls, said he did it to get back at his bingo-obsessive wife for abandoning the marital bed four days a week to play.
Good News / Bad News: Stevie Long, 4, was successful in scaring off two home invaders who had been holding a gun on his mother, her boyfriend, and four children; Stevie had quietly excused himself, put on his Mighty Morphin Power Ranger outfit, grabbed a plastic sword, and then burst on the scene, yelling, "Get away from my family!" The startled men fled empty-handed. The bad news is that a counselor, after talking to Stevie, said that the kid "fully believed he morphed" into the Power Ranger.
Hell of a Guy: The former chairman of Canadian Tire, Earl Joudrie, passed away on Thursday at 72. He was memorable for a 1995 incident in which his wife Dorothy shot him 6 times and left him for dead while she poured herself a stiff drink. When she came back to check on him ("Aren’t you dead yet?" she supposedly asked), he struck a deal with her that if she’d call 911, he wouldn’t say anything bad about her. And he kept his word. (She was charged with the crime but beat the rap.) Said a friend (who is Canadian Tire’s main shareholder), "[H]is morals were so high that [even] the under-duress promise was a promise that he would keep."
Al-Qaeda to start work immediately on genital bombs: Transportation Security Administration said it would install the first of the "Backscatter" full-body weapons-screening systems, at the airport in Phoenix, after having worked out almost all the privacy-concern kinks involved in making under-clothes photographs. TSA said it has figured out a way to blur out the genital area when screeners scan the babes and hunks making their way to the gates but that that won’t defeat the purpose of the machines.
Below The Fold
Big failures at "critical thinking": Two Brits on an ambulance crew drove two hours to deliver a patient (destination 8 miles away), and then two hours back, because of mindless obedience to a satellite-navigation doohickey . . . . . America’s only cockfight teacher, age 82, retired, but reminisced to a reporter about his 77-yr love affair with the "sport" . . . . . A Michigan House bill would make it a crime for a boyfriend if he broke up while his girlfriend is pregnant (and she chooses to abort) . . . . . Two Mississippi inmates voluntarily ran down an escaping colleague (which should sit well with their other colleagues) . . . . . Arrested in Dothan, Ala., after 33 yrs on the lam: convicted murderer Billy W. Hayes . . . . . The Vidor, Tex., school board is once again at full strength after a man was named to replace Mr. Ivan Croak, who, er, died.