Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Below The Fold
Proof once again that the only really clever criminals are the smugglers, as a schoolteacher tried to sneak her prisoner-husband 2½ grams of heroin and a scalpel, inside her tampon . . . . . Now in its 15th yr, a weekly, 4-hr Buenos Aires radio program run by poco locos at the Jose Borda Neuropsychiatric Hospital . . . . . A semi-finalist for 2007 Pennsylvania Teacher of the Year resigned after allegedly running a student New Year’s party that had booze . . . . . Least competent editorial board: Chicago Tribune editors ask why we need to put so many people in prison, seeing as how the crime rate is so low . . . . . A big-rig driver collided with another, disembarked, grabbed a baseball bat and went nuts on the inventory at a liquor store, and when subdued by three passersby, dropped dead . . . . . The school board in Richmond, Va., fired high school teacher Stephen Murmer (the guy whose avocation is painting with his butt) . . . . . A girls’ high school in Japan announced that its entrance exam will include a test of chopstick skills . . . . . Portuguese civil servants discover they’re entitled to the equivalent of about 36 cents a mile if they have to walk somewhere on the job . . . . . A repairman was trapped for 20 minutes inside an industrial washing machine, waist-deep in hot water and entangled in clothes . . . . . The Lord told the San Mateo, Calif., woman to paint God-rulz-type messages all over her house, and city ordinances be damned . . . . . Fine Point of the Law: On trial for smoking a joint in public, you apparently cannot bring a marijuana plant past the security desk at the courthouse to use as a defense exhibit . . . . . Classic "burying the lede": Report says San Francisco has the highest percentage of recreational drug users of any big city (12.7 percent); buried lede: 87.3 percent of San Franciscans don’t (which is right up there with "87.3 percent of bears use toilets").