Friday, January 19, 2007

Chutzpah! Emmalee Bauer, 25, surely a heroine to Slacker America, spent most of 2006 at her desk working for the Sheraton hotel people in Des Moines, Iowa, doing little besides composing her personal diary on company time. Plus, the personal diary consisted largely of detailed descriptions of how she was shirking work. ("I am going to sit right here and play Elf Bowling or some other nonsense." "Accomplishment is overrated, anyway." "I am only here for the money and, lately, for the printer access.") But, finally, her good fortune ran out. Her diary was discovered. She was fired. And then, in the coup de grĂ¢ce, she applied for unemployment benefits!

The six Christian denominations that share space in Jerusalem’s Church of the Holy Sepulchre are still warring with each other over the gov’t’s demand that they put another door in the building (in that there are maybe thousands of people present at any one time but with only one door in case of emergency). Y’see, one of the six would have to give up some space to make the new exit happen, and the holy spirit of the place where Jesus was crucified and resurrected just wouldn’t allow any of them to do that. It’s been 10 yrs since the gov’t asked them nicely to work this out.

Below The Fold
NOTW has had stories of teenagers commandeering transit buses, but here are two bored kids in Nelsonville, Ohio, who took a train for a joyride . . . . . The German website Erento will rent you any of 2,200 things or services, including demonstrators for your political protest at about $190 a day . . . . . A Colorado woman’s lawyer now wants full First Amendment protection for her client’s having dropped off some dog poop at the office of U.S. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (of whom she disapproves) . . . . . Gov. Perdue of Georgia is against the possibility of beer and wine sales on Sundays, but he says it’s just because he wants to teach Georgians how to manage their time better, i.e., get all y'all's damn shopping done on Saturday . . . . . Mistakes on TSA’s "no-fly" list include the one that occasionally gets the wife of U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens pulled aside because Catherine Stevens’s nickname is "Cat," making her Yusuf Islam . . . . . Don’t you hate it when this happens—you’re out digging for worms in winter, and you get water in your boots, and it freezes, and your feet get stuck in the boot ice? . . . . . Another gov’t official who embezzled taxpayer money only to lose it in a Nigerian scam (and he’s a county treasurer!) . . . . . The marketing of cannabis-containing foods (mostly to medical-marijuana licensees) is getting pretty elaborate [link from] . . . . . A now-convicted New Hampshire federal tax-evader (who refuses to be one of the "little frogs sitting in [the] boiling water" of "fascist" America) is holed up in his home, with either "major jail time" or "The Only Way Out" in his future.