Friday, January 26, 2007

The Laws of Irony Are Strictly Enforced: (1) A bunch of Nairobi street kids raided the food tent and chowed down on the feast that had been set up for ministers and dignitaries in town to fret about poverty for the World Social Forum. (2) Arrested (and hospitalized) in Lilburn, Ga., was Ezekiel Dejesus-Rodriguez, 24, who allegedly went on a vandalism jag at the cemetery next to Luxomni Baptist Church, until one of the headstones fell on him, pinned him down, and broke his leg. (3) Among those arrested by San Francisco police this week in a 35-yr-old murder-conspiracy case involving the Black Liberation Army’s targeting of cops (or, in BLA lingo, pigs, er, honky pigs) was Richard O’Neal, 57. O’Neal’s lawyer, James Bustamante, is trying to make the kind, gentle, now-universally loved man seem completely transformed from the one accused of opening fire on a cop in 1971: Said Bustamante, O’Neal hasn’t been in trouble since his early 20's and is in fact now an "easygoing, straight-shooting guy."

Below The Fold
You Know Your Time Has Come: A 63-yr-old flagpole repairman in Anoka, Minn., was killed when that metal ball at the top of the pole fell off and hit him on the head . . . . . Ahmadinejad turns his back toward the West, drops trou, grabs ankles, i.e., a February 11th performance of the Tehran Orchestra will feature a "nuclear symphony" [link from] . . . . . Questions still unanswered: Veterinarians in Antwerp, Belgium, said they’ll have to amputate an iguana’s priapic clinton (but he'll be fine because iguanas have two, y’know) . . . . . The New Jersey gov’t sent curiously specific letters to residents in Ringwood advising that until further notice: Don't eat squirrel more than twice a week (once a week if you’re pregnant, once a month, if you’re a kid) . . . . . News to warm the hearts of tax-evaders everywhere: New Zealand lets taxpayers deduct only up to $1,800 in charitable donations, so its wealthiest lady, looking to give away a lot of her $275m, up and moved to Australia (which has no limit) . . . . . A 52-yr-old man in Chimacum, Wash., accidentally shot a hole in his hand Sunday celebrating that exciting Reggie Bush touchdown run against the Bears.