Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Technology helped get us into this mess; technology can help get us out (continued): In Australia, people are placing faith, for religious healing, in the burqa swimsuit. It’s just a slightly-loose Lycra body suit with a hair covering, but apparently lots of Muslim women are embracing it as a way to better assimilate into the Australian water life, and the manufacturers dream of the day when we Anglo Christians are so petrified of the sun that we’ll be wearing them, too.

Updates
Yr Editor has been informed that a character from this week’s NOTW—the sheriff who shamelessly loves to golf during work hours—was actually defeated for re-election in November.
That massive Hindu gathering along the wretchedly polluted Ganges River [NOTW Daily, 1-9-2007] has another element: the lost-and-found tent. Apparently, hundreds of people find the teeming, mulling millions a great place to dump the kids and parents they no longer want to fool with.

Below The Fold
A woman who recalls being taunted as "witch spawn" in 1944 has begun a campaign to pardon her granny, Britain’s last convicted witch . . . . . The Michigan Court of Appeals said the slam-dunk language of state law turns any adultery into a serious sex assault case (against the man) . . . . . Is there a diagnosis scarier than, er, "brain worms" (which is what a Texas man got, probably from not washing his hands after wiping his orenthal)? . . . . . The Connecticut Supreme Court has agreed to decide (for all of us, at last!) whether "I overslept" is an acceptable excuse (i.e., constitutes "willful" conduct) . . . . . America’s infatuation with guns is bad, all right, but still, there’s something a little pussified about these tough gangbangers in Glasgow settling their differences with Samurai swords . . . . . "Get a job," his mom said ("Build a new house," he said, flicking his cigarette lighter) . . . . . "My baby’s missing," the Texas mom said, and she really wishes she could recall what she did with him, with "gave him to two strangers at some highway rest stop" the best she could remember . . . . . One charge has been filed against a parent in that Snohomish, Wash., episode in which a kid got his leg almost blown off by a football game ceremonial cannon, and then school boosters kept trying to intimidate him not to say anything that would doom the cannon ritual . . . . . British tattoo artist Blane Dickinson is looking for someone on whose head he can ink his dream tat of a big ham-and-eggs breakfast, with knife and fork behind each ear, and who among us doubts that an attention-deprived guy will soon come forward?