Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Feng shui, twice removed: First, you hafta believe in feng shui, which is hard enough. But then, you hafta believe (despite a lack of authoritative text) that even animals can get all messed up if the feng shui isn’t just right. The Los Angeles Zoo cleared both hurdles and paid $4,500 to a consultant to fix up the happy new home of the golden monkeys on loan from China.

The Navy put a notice in the Federal Register seeking public comment on the Environmental Impact Statement it must file when it employs dolphins and sea lions around ports in Washington state to guard against terrorist infiltration. Dolphins have great sonar ability, and it says here that a sea lion can somehow carry around a cuff in its mouth and clamp it on a rogue swimmer’s leg.

Canada’s TV regulators told the Miracle Channel (religious programming on cable) that it would be watching closely to make sure there is no repetition of its 2004 on-air fundraising appeals, which apparently included such pitches as, If you don’t give, you are robbing God and could go bankrupt, and If you give, God says your income will double. There had been reports of donors cashing in retirement accounts and expecting higher real-estate values.

Update
Veteran New Zealand lawyer Rob Moodie was cited for contempt of court for publicly releasing a document about a gov’t bridge collapse, which he said would help his client (since a court had suppressed it). In other news, Moodie, 68, said he has abandoned his campaign to cross-dress in court (showing "a flash of lace at the urinal"), which he had said he was doing in order to call attention to the old-boy network that runs the country’s legal system [NOTW 967, 8-20-2006]. (But the abandonment didn’t stop the Sydney Morning Herald from illustrating its bridge-document story with a file photo of Moodie all dolled up as Miss Alice [in Wonderland].)

Below The Fold
Jorge Mejia, your classic whipped husband: wrecked his wife’s brand-new car but felt he had to make up a full-blown story about being kidnaped and crashing as he wildly escaped . . . . . The worst thing, said the CNN reporter interviewing the macho adolescent who had taken on the name "Col. Rambo" in some African militia was that "[W]e, as adults, had to address [him] as such [or he might kill us]" . . . . . The latest Nigerian scam appears to be the "Free Bishon Frise puppies" deal, if you’ll just send in the shipping money (and a reporter actually called the number in Nigeria and asked to hear the "Bishon" bark, at which point the guy on the phone woofed a couple of times) . . . . . Everyone has a particular issue that sets them off, and for the militant Hindu groups Bajrang Dal and Shiv Sena, it’s that blasphemous Western phenomenon of Valentine’s Day, which India’s citizens will celebrate at their peril . . . . . Best Headline (San Jose Mercury News): "Judge Rules Government Supply of Marijuana Is Inadequate"