Thursday, February 08, 2007

In the early days of News of the Weird and its ancestor (the zine View from the Ledge), Hon. Marion S. Barry (for Shepilov!) was the biggest askhoal around, and we recognized him as chairman of our Board of Inspiration. Today, he still remains aggressively shame-free, but at age 70, it looks more like an undiagnosed case of Alzheimer’s. The D.C. Councilman is now in two courts and might finally have exhausted the reservoir of fear that local judges have for turning on him. Less seriously, he has a pending drug-possession charge that was a probation violation. More seriously, he apparently is blatantly ignoring the terms of a tax-conviction probation by failing to file, at all, federal and local tax returns for 2005. I feel bad for piling on the pathetic Barry now, and I’ll feel even worse after the judges crack down on him and few D.C. residents care anymore.

The clash of civilizations, live from Sudan, reported by Der Spiegel: Geographically and culturally separate from the radical Islamic gov’t to the north and the radical Christian rebels to the south (Darfur) are large numbers of animists, who still worship plants and rocks and things. Oh, it’s gonna be a long, long 21st century.

Can’t Possibly Be True: A drama theater in a conservative north Florida town actually booked The Vagina Monologues, but due to complaints, changed the marquee, presumably so that parents wouldn’t have to explain to their kids what a vagina is. New marquee: The Hoohah Monologues. Seriously.

Below The Fold
The principal of Johnstown Primary School in Wales declared, No Mother’s Day cards this year (that day being March 18 over there) because it might make orphans feel bad . . . . . A Bangladeshi cab driver in New York City earnestly returned a bag of diamonds to an out-of-town dealer who rode with him even though she was from so far out of town that she had left him a 30-cent tip on a $10.70 fare . . . . . More Chinese preparation for the Olympics: On the 11th day of every month, citizens are urged to practice waiting in line (instead of brawling for a space) . . . . . Possible Hoax Alert in Cape Coral, Fla., as a family claims they’re being hyper-stalked by a guy, who even broke in and wrote a cryptic threat on their toilet seat lid, but the cops wish they could find even one piece of physical evidence . . . . . In a Phoenix suburb, a motorist got so incensed at a driver on his cell phone that he rammed him, pushing him into traffic, then fled (and police, for some reason, believe that to be a crime) . . . . . In Hamilton, Ontario, a pathetic robber goes 0-for-3 (petite blonde clerk snatches loot back from him, potential carjack victim pushes him away, and then he loses a second tug-of-war with said petite clerk) . . . . . William Barret III, 26, was arrested at a ski area in Winhall, Vt., and charged with flashin' and jerkin’ in a gondola [Bonus: NY Post hed was "Nude Slope Dope Flaunts Ski Pole"].