Friday, February 09, 2007

A proposal by that state senator from New York City to ban personal audio devices (music players, cell phones, etc.) in crosswalks was prompted not by a concern for public safety (e.g., pedestrian-avoiding cars swerving into buildings, cars, and other pedestrians) but simply because that legislator recently had two constituents, with an inadequate ration of survival genes, who never genuinely respected two-ton death machines.

If you lie down with the deconstructionists, your grade may get deconstructed: Student Brian Marquis sued UMass-Amherst for treating his "84" grade as a C instead of a possible A-minus. "Quite frankly," he said, "I find this utterly unacceptable."

Maybe not "the" root" but "a" root of all evil is people trying to have it both ways, like "compassionate" Whole Foods, for example, which says it has now figured out a humane way to kill lobsters (for its Maine store), i.e., if the lobsters could talk, they’d pretty much be OK with this?

Brandon Reece in Kansas City shows how utterly simple it is to make lots of money these days. He got to reading some books on the Kama Sutra, tantra, Taoist rituals, etc., and thought about relatively dormant ideas about how a penis could be manually stretched to get larger (break down erectile tissue, which grows back microscopically larger each time). Medical experts said any increase in size would be barely, barely noticeable, but never mind. Armed with journal references that verify the germ of his business (but not the suggested results), he put up a website, and the money comes rolling in.

Update
The Florida theater showing The Hoohaa Monologues [NOTW Daily, 2-8-2007] has changed its marquee back to The Vagina Monologues after the producer said the contract with the author prohibits any changes (and the reason certainly was not that CNN and newspapers splashed the story all over the place yesterday).

Housekeeping
I admitted on Tuesday [NOTW Daily, 2-6-2007] that the NY Post webmaster had beat me down, kicked my butt, in hiding a story online that had appeared in the newsprint edition (about the former "breatharian" who had his kid removed by the state). Well, the story is here (for three or four more days, anyway).

Errorors
Yesterday’s alleged ski gondola masturbateur is age 46, not 26.

Below The Fold
A court just up and canceled Tenerife’s entire celebration of Carnival this year (Can they do that? A mere court larger than Carnival? I don’t think so.) . . . . . Suspicions Confirmed: The French hosiery manufacturer Gerbe announced pantyhose for men . . . . . Life Imitates Chris Rock: Cook County (Ill.) will debate a plan to raise revenue by taxing bullets at 10 cents each . . . . . The mayor of Los Angeles, breaking a longstanding strategic silence, has launched a police campaign against the city’s most dangerous gangs (thereby motivating the less-murderous gangs to step it up) . . . . . Alarming trend: the "dental spa" (meaning your root canal comes with a backrub, peppermint foot scrub, manicure, etc.).