Friday, March 09, 2007

Friday’s Drip
America’s whole 9-11 plot solved by Northwest Airlines pilot / Accused child molester "goin’ to Disney World!" / And, yes, it’s illegal to spit on someone.

The Human Condition Today
Field McConnell, 57 and an Annapolis graduate, is seeking early retirement from Northwest Airlines because he knows another major terrorist attack is imminent, and he filed a lawsuit last week against Boeing because nobody’s planes are safe right now. He said he knows who the true conspirators are (and were on September 11th) (and that Muslims were just fall guys), but, even though this is the biggest threat of our lifetimes, he can’t discuss it now since this lawsuit is pending!

Civilization in Decline
Illinois judge Craig Sahlstrom OK’d a 2-week family vacation to Florida, specifically including Disney World, for Frank Atherton of Rockford, who stands accused of sexually assaulting three children (under age 13). Just remember, Frank: No contact with minors. [UPDATE: Judge changed his mind]
That’s what courts are for: It took the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit to rule that when Jeffrey Lewellyn spat on a VA patient in 2004, that was indeed a crime.
All Editors on Vacation: WTHR-TV (Indianapolis), reporting on a suspected murder-suicide Monday in Bedford, Ind., in which a pilot (with little daughter aboard) fatally dive-bombed his former mother-in-law’s house, quoted an adult at the daughter’s club (on the girl’s liveliness): "I absolutely loved that kid. She was a little ball of fire."

Next in line for No Longer Weird: paying that disagreeable bill in pennies . . . . . He commandeered a street-sweeper and, er, did donuts . . . . . It’s been months now in that Ontario apartment house, and that cobra that escaped still hasn’t turned up . . . . . Update: a lawsuit settlement in that Curb Your Enthusiasm murder alibi case [recap: It’s an out-of-body CYE episode within an actual CYE episode: The only way the suspect could ever prove his alibi is because he happened to be in a crowd shot at a Dodger Stadium CYE scene at the time of the murder] . . . . . South African thieves target the buchu herb, which is worth big bucks for its use in soft drinks and perfume, even though it smells like cat urine.

NOTW, The Blog
(1) Yr Editor just discovered that you can get an RSS feed of News of the Weird Daily (not just an Atom feed, which has always been available) here. I’ll soon figure out how to add this link to the right rail. (2) Yr Editor is about to re-name News of the Weird Daily to honor its most hardy, needy, cynical . . . intellectually advanced readers. It will soon be News of the Weird Daily / Pro Edition. As I said back when I published my weekly newsletter of the same name, You know who you are. (3) Reminder (if you would be so kind): Yr Editor would greatly appreciate your spreading the word about (and, if you have nothing better to do, clicking onto) the weekly News of the Weird column at Yahoo News. The direct link is here. Thank you.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.