Thursday, March 08, 2007

Jesus Has Landed Again: Well, Jose de Jesus of Puerto Rico (now of Houston) has, anyway, and according to him and his followers in at least 30 countries, he is the Second Coming, and he’s just a 60-yr-old corner-pub guy whose congregants, according to this ABC News piece, line up to give themselves "666" tats to show their solidarity. His selling point: There is no "sin" (just criminal law on Earth, but that’s irrelevant when you present yourself for the hereafter). Smoking and moderate drinking are fine ("Jesus [Christ] drank wine because he didn’t have Dewar’s").

The Human Condition
Zillionaire Harry Kakavas is suing the Crown Casino on Australia’s Gold Coast because it improperly wooed him to return and bet even though he gave them a keep-me-out-of-here letter, and if you have any illusion about the size of the profit margin in casinos, understand that one of the inducements Crown offered Kakavas was a 20 percent rebate on his losses. Anyway, Crown was successful, and even with the apparent rebate, Kakavas still lost A$30m.

Just Below The Fold
The U.S. Dept. of State’s annual human rights report disses Kazakhstan in part for closing down Borat’s website . . . . . The reluctant mother of an apparently-healthy 2-yr-old sues her Massachusetts abortionists for screwing up [A few lawsuits like this have succeeded in the past but only when the child was born with problems requiring extraordinary expense] . . . . . Coming soon from the U.S. Navy: stun guns that make you hurl [well, one effect of the guns is "motion sickness"] . . . . . An accused armed-robbery suspect arrived in court for a preliminary hearing, wearing a shopping bag with eye holes cut out—and there’s actually a good reason for it [i.e., he doesn’t want the victim to get used to seeing him for when she’s later called on to actually identify her attacker; critics know that courtroom-ID is nearly always just the ID’ing of whoever is sitting in the defendant’s chair].

Your Daily Loser
Terrence Cox, 38, was convicted in Brisbane, Australia, of possession of 292 child-porn images and movies on his computer, a crime which’ll get you 30 yrs’ hard time in many U.S. states, but he got 12 months’ probation, perhaps because he said he is the victim of toxic fumes at work that led him to make poor judgments.

Updates
Just for the record, that "lonely man and donkey" story Yr Editor warned you about [NOTW Daily, 3-3-2007] was officially revealed to be an intentional hoax by the originating website. However, its editors gleefully noted how many news organizations worldwide ran the story as credible . . . . . Erroror: The urine-buyback program mentioned yesterday (and, by the way, the price appears to be $10 a cup) was from New Britain, Conn., and not Bridgeport. [Editor’s Note: It’s a pain for me to update previous entries every day, so they’ll probably be remaining in the original until I update on weekends.]

NOTW Lite
Here’s a prostitution-bust mug shot from Melbourne, Fla., proving that Willie Nelson is on the ro—uh, on the street again . . . . . God’s Will: The house burned down, but all in all, it must have been a glorious thing because the displaced owner saw a vision of Jesus on the seared wallpaper [and that would be "Jesus Christ," not that guy sipping the Dewar's] . . . . . Flash: Young guys still haven’t gotten tired of trying Jackass stunts, especially that one about setting your package on fire . . . . . A 28-yr-old woman in Ohio lived with her roommate’s corpse for three weeks, despite the smell and even though she apparently never even picked the body up off the floor . . . . . In Waco, Tex., a search in the back seat of a car for a nearly-empty gas can, illuminated by (of course!) a cigarette lighter . . . . . An upcoming BBC television program demonstrates how disagreeable a job it is to be collecting sperm from elephants and rhinos for artificial fertilization (but, on the other hand, Shamu was one eager ejaculator!).
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.