Thursday, March 29, 2007

Thursday’s Drip
(being an abbreviated version, instead of its usual All the News You Need to Know) (And by the way, my thanks to so many of you—but not all of you—who kindly refrained from informing me that I had mislabeled the day of the week on yesterday’s post.)

Civilization in Decline
South Korea’s getting sick and tired of China’s pre-Olympics reforms, especially the one about no longer extracting organs from executed prisoners because organs are apparently a main Korean import . . . . . A Calgary, Alberta, judge ordered that the prisoner not be denied his medical marijuana for multiple sclerosis, even though the reason he’s locked up in the first place was for selling marijuana . . . . . A Bosnian man was convicted of four urban bombings, but the judge was said to go soft on him because he has no terrorism ties but was just trying to frighten his girlfriend a little bit (and he did; they’re getting married!).

The Human Condition Today
Harmonic Convergence: Ya got your general political attitude prevalent in the F State, and ya got your tacky, semi-sleazy political "consultants," of which there are many. Still, prosecutors weren’t able to pin anything much on Doug Guetzloe of Orlando, who always seemed to swim just barely below the surface, via marginally plausible denials. But then, he missed a payment on his storage locker, and the guy who bought the 40 cartons of papers inside (for $10) turned them over to genuine professional investigative reporter Tony Pipitone of WKMG-TV in January. Holy moley. A paper trail of gargantuan proportions. Yesterday, he was indicted and arrested.

Your Daily Losers
Joan Hall, 65, and Roger Neff, 76, on trial for pulling price switches at Cleveland department stores, just can’t stop themselves: During a lunch break, they tried to shoplift food from the courthouse cafeteria.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Here’s another retail-store public semen-spewer, operating out of the children’s section at a Barnes and Noble in Memphis, so it’s probably not the one Yr Editor recently, er, came across (but which I can’t seem to find now in the archive in the brief time I have today).

Awesome! Inmates at the Kinross Correctional Facility on Michigan’s Upper Peninsula actually dug an elaborate tunnel, The Great Escape-style, and had breached the perimeter by 25 ft, being six ft from freedom (meaning all they had to do was dig . . up), and they got caught.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.