Monday, April 16, 2007

Monday’s Drip
The hospital that didn’t want to change its sheets / Illegal to let your dust blow into neighbors’ eyes? / “Assault” for squirting the cop with breast milk / And a minister tries to get kids to pull their damn pants up

Civilization in Decline
British health care, indeed! Good Hope Hospital had posters up imploring the staff to re-use sheets instead of laundering them (but defended itself, saying, well, the posters were old) . . . . .
2½ times more kids have been killed in the last 5 yrs in the slums of Rio than in Israel/Palestinian territories . . . . . Pima County, Ariz., has an ordinance against letting dust blow off of your land (seriously) because, actually, “the desert” is pretty crusty, and it’s mostly people digging that cause dust . . . . . Know Sin/Fight Sin: 8 of the 15 Democrats running for Traffic Court openings in Philadelphia have outstanding tickets.

The Human Condition Today
In Utah, at least, kids play a game in which the winner endures other kids scratching the A-B-C’s into his skin over and over the longest (except this one kid came down with flesh-eating bacteria) . . . . . A feud boiled over at a convent in Avdellero, Cyprus, and nuns and priests mauled each other, blood everywhere (Seriously) . . . . . In England, an 18-yr-old accused shoplifter is to appear in Richmond Magistrates Court, to answer a charge that she resisted arrest by spraying the cop with milk from “her right breast” . . . . . And, at last, some original reporting on the old and tired “too many cats” genre: This house in Ocala, Fla., had an ammonia-air-saturation level of .31 (.20 is supposedly fatal).

People Whose Sex Life Is Worse Than Yours
Police picked up a man who needed an hour to relieve himself in the restroom at Silverlake Elementary (Grapevine, Tex.), and, oh, he was in the boys’ and the girls’. (Bonus: mugshot)

NOTW Lite
Fine Points of the Law: An Irish guy who wants to do more salmon fishing went to court and invoked, drum-roll, the Magna Carta (yes, that Magna Carta) . . . . . At an inquest in Britain, a couple’s traffic deaths were officially called an accident, having occurred when a bee stung another driver in the crotch, causing him to lose control of his car . . . . . In Jaen, Spain, a man was acquitted of 3 rapes after he, uh, measured up in court, and thus showed that the victims must have been mistaken (Details! We need details!) . . . . . The Netherlands is already walking on egg shells, Muslim-wise, but in The Hague, police announced that at one station, they’ve been telling Muslim prisoners that Mecca was this way, and it turns out that Mecca is that way . . . . . San Francisco police are looking for a woman who pulled off a high-school-magician kind of trick (clearing up black water) to scam people afraid of cancer.

NOTW, The Blog
The genre’s just been No Longer Weird-ed, so Yr Editor is indifferent to Memphis minister Roland Robinson’s PullYourPantsUpMission.com, aimed at baggy-drawered youth . . . . . And, in case you haven’t seen it, here’s the result of the Taiwanese zookeeper’s getting a little too confident about his relationship with that crocodile.
This post is ©2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.