Saturday, April 21, 2007

Saturday’s 5-Star Special
The Communications, Energy and Paperworkers Union workers, tired of slow negotiations on a new contract, went on strike in Regina, Sask., against their employer, which is, uh, the Gov’t and General Employees’ Union, which is having its annual meeting there.

Civilization in Decline
According to a sole-sourced AP story from Iraq, al-Qaeda’s extreme-Muslim types have threatened street vendors in Baqouba to separate their tomatoes and their cucumbers because they are veggies of different genders . . . . . At a school in Maharashtra, India, an upper-caste head teacher tried benevolently to upgrade the lower-caste students, by spritzing them with cow urine . . . . . Two gov’t ministers in Ivory Coast, who were taking over each other's department in a shake-up, brawled over their respective budgets and furniture.

The Human Condition Today
A 16-yr-old kid waiting for a school bus in Jacksonville, Fla., was run over by a car, which is understandable, since it appears he was asleep in the road . . . . . It turns out that Nina Wang, who inherited China’s largest private developer and was the 154th richest person in the world and who died earlier this month, left her whole (estimated) $4 billion to a fortune-teller who had made her feel good.

Your Daily Loser
Haouy Nguyen, 50, doused himself with gasoline at Long Beach (Calif.) City Hall and set himself on fire, but he was rescued and is in a burn center, and he can wait until he recovers to deal with the arson charge the city is about to file.

Eric Joswig was a dog of a husband, for many of the 27 yrs of his marriage, and now, to win his lady back, he decided to put up schmalzy billboards around town to let everyone know he’s a changed man (and it might be working!) . . . . . Ms. Venus Ramey, 82, using a walker but wielding a mean snub-nosed .38, chased a thief out of her barn (Bonus: In 1944, she was Miss America).

NOTW, The Blog
Erroror: Rev. Phelps and crew will not picket against un-Christian America today in Blacksburg; they’ve actually chosen one lucky funeral to picket, and that’s today in Evans, Ga.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.