Saturday, April 28, 2007

Saturday’s 5-Star Special
Tinfoil beanies are so-o-o 20th century. If you want to be completely protected from all the electromagnetic fields of the 21st century, you’ll have to wear beekeeper headgear like this (and, of course, line your home with tinfoil-encased wallpaper). Science is not down with Electrosensitivity as a condition yet, but no doctor, herbalist, etc., can tell this woman why she got sick so often before she retrofitted her house and herself.

Civilization in Decline
It "may be the last legal form of sex discrimination in the United States, approved year after year by lawmakers" [and Yr Editor sez, Guess what it is! When you give up, search the rest of today's post for the most nonsensical link you can find and click it] . . . . . The first "enemy combatant" who is a U.S. citizen arrested on U.S. soil (Jose Padilla), but who was subsequently upgraded from "enemy combatant" to "citizen entitled to Constitutional rights," faces trial next month over nefarious plans expressed in recorded, coded telephone calls, like the one about paying $3,500 for a zucchini.

The Human Condition Today
A Japanese man was injured with bruises, which he acquired when an 18-yr-old college student took The Only Way Out off of a nine-story building and landed on his noggin . . . . . Tiffany Weaver made up ID from a Baltimore lawyer in order to sneak into the city jail and get intimate with her boyfriend, but she denies she had sex with him (Her lawyer: "There was never any sexual intercourse. There was no thrusting whatsoever.")

Your Daily Loser
Malcolm Barnes, 20, might go down big for vehicular manslaughter, which was allegedly provoked by too much of his drug of choice, er, 3M Dust Remover.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
A 48-yr-old church organist in Teeside, England, was found dead in his home, naked, in the fetal position, inside a large plastic bag that had a vacuum cleaner attached to it. Police believe he was an asphyxer getting off at having the air sucked out of the bag.

NOTW Lite
A London pub, trying to work around the imminent no-smoking rules, has asked the Embassy of Peru to designate it as a consulate (and therefore exempt from the rules).

Updates
Here’s more on the "Writing While Asian" arrestee Allen Lee [NOTW Daily, 4-27-2007], including the text of his actual essay that criminally disturbed his teacher and caused Dick Cheney to dress like a nurse . . . . . And here’s more on our boy Jose de Jesus (No Such Thing As Sin) Miranda [NOTW Daily, 4-25-2007], from BoingBoing.net.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
will return on Monday

NOTW, The Blog
The poodle/sheep story from yesterday turned out to be evidence-less, according to sleuthing by Snopes.com (and since then Updated on NOTW Daily). And to show you that Yr Editor, too, is vigilant about obvious hoaxes, I am not running this story in yesterday’s The Scotsman, which had this nut graf: "A dozen top chefs–including five with Michelin stars–have been nominated in the 11th annual Scottish Chef of the Year Award." Top chefs? Scotland? I mean, come on, Yr Editor wasn’t born yesterday!
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.