Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
OK, see, you’re the police, and you have a warrant to search this woman, but it’s not a body-cavity warrant, just a basic search for meth, and in the course of the search, a bag of meth is seen, er, slightly protruding from a body cavity, and a cop pulls it out. Can it be used as evidence? At an Arizona appeals court oral argument, the prosecutor warns: "Where does the butt end and the anus begin? The buttocks is just the bell end of the trumpet, and I don’t think that you [judges], for constitutional reasons, want to go there [declare the search illegal]."

Civilization in Decline
At a Republican caucus of Montana state legislators (with NBC cameras rolling), House majority leader Michael Lange called the Democratic governor an "S.O.B.," said he could "go to hell" and that as for the governor’s tax-relief plan, he could "stick it up his ass" (but later, during House proceedings, Lange said, "I certainly meant no offense").

The Human Condition Today
Another fatal gas-pedal/brake-pedal/whatever? case, but the 84-yr-old was driving a golf cart . . . . . People Different From Us: There’s Shirley Weidt, of Sheridan, Wyo., who keeps her pet goat not in a pen but in her minivan (Bonus: She keeps the car clean!), and then there’s this lady, a mother of 3 who left her husband for a 16-yr-old stud and now is ticked off that the kid’s getting it on the side from his teacher.

Your Daily Loser
Eric Cunningham, 18, was arrested and charged with robbing a gas station at gunpoint in Orlando. Crimestoppers tip: He forgot to take his gun case with him as he fled, which contained his receipt for the gun, made out to "Eric Cunningham."

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Ronald Baker, 44, was sentenced to 10 yrs in prison for a 2005 incident when he was caught, sitting on the floor of the chapel of St. Louis’s Lambert Field airport, looking at his ample collection of child porn on his laptop.

At England’s Warwick University, researchers develop artificial snot (well, "mucus") because they found that actual mucus on actual nose receptors aids scent-differentiation, and they think lab-made mucus will help their lab-made scent-differentiators . . . . . Also in England, a 2½-yr-old, showing that he pretty much wasn’t taking his toilet-training seriously, was taken to a fire station so that emergency personnel could remove the toilet seat from around his head . . . . . The director of the Feline Health Center at Cornell Univ. was killed when he swerved his motorcycle to avoid a, uh, cat . . . . . Last words of the now-departed James Filiaggi (from Ohio’s death row): "I’m going to be busy [in, what, heaven?] getting the [Cleveland] Browns to the Super Bowl, working magic."

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Thankfully, there is a site for pictures of "women in big headphones, earmuffs, and helicopter headsets," even though they’re de-emphasizing the raw sexuality (in favor of mere "aesthetic appreciation").

NOTW, The Blog
A story out of West Palm Beach, Fla., has Roger Bean arrested for practicing denture-fitting out of a metal garage attached to his mobile home, and of course it was unhygienic, and of course he’s not licensed (except perhaps in Texas, as he had a certificate-like thing ordaining him as a "denturist"). So of course any patient who goes to Bean is an idiot . . except, maybe not. He apparently has repeat and word-of-mouth business, so we can infer he’s at least adequate at what he does. And he charges $200 or less for a full set (versus $2,000 or more by state-licensed people with offices in regular buildings). Sheriff’s detectives said only that they received an anonymous tip, not necessarily a complaint. Yr Editor is not ready yet to dump on Roger Bean.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.