Thursday, April 05, 2007

Thursday’s Drip
A Godly-smelling perfume / An ultra-serious Freddy Krueger fan / "Get your goddamned hands off of my golf ball," the preacher might have said / And a NY appeals court recognizes the trauma of man-boobs

Civilization in Decline
An Australian company develops software for people who, Yr Editor guesses, are bored silly with chatting up strangers on the Internet but who can’t stop themselves from doing it . . . . . At last! The "world’s first spiritual perfume," in a fragrance to remind the user of God, and only $80 a bottle (of undisclosed size) . . . . . The world reeks of vicious, name-calling activism, and now comes Britain with, among its 4.2 million closed-circuit TV cameras on the street, some that are loudspeaker-capable so that monitors can scold people they observe screwing up . . . . . Israel, whose public image is smarting from the Hezbollah war, tries to up its Q rating with a campaign promoting its hot, fabulous babes.

The Human Condition Today
Douglas Willy headed out on vacation with a fiancee, 4 kids, and a Grand Am, whose size meant, naturally, that 2 of kids have to ride in the trunk . . . . . A Palm Harbor, Fla., high school boy who was forced into an alternative school after he mooned a teacher is suing for reinstatement, despite "Mrs. Webster"’s narrative that Taylor "bent over and used both hands to spread his buttocks apart as far as he could" . . . . . A Mason, Ohio, firefighter, who was headed to a gay bar to enter a $10,000 show-off contest in a blonde wig and blue bikini (holding up two water balloons), decided to get out of his truck in a public park frequented by families and walk around (alcohol was involved) [Bonus: photo!] . . . . . The downside of being a huge Freddy Krueger fan like Britain’s Jason Moore: If ya get a little crazy while drinking with a pal, and ya slash him with your Freddy glove, you go down for 4-1/2-to-life . . . . . Michael Babin, a minister at Genesis Ministries Int’l in Oceanside, Calif., er, check that, he’s a bishop, started a three-on-one golf course brawl, leaving a fellow duffer unconscious because, after all, the four had a misunderstanding about whose ball went where (Babin’s version: He stole my damned ball!) . . . . . Latest smoking-gun mugshot from paint-sniffer (looks gray) Michael Thompson, Hickory, N.C.

A NY appeals court turned down (3rd straight rejection) the insurer Group Health Inc., which is trying hard to avoid covering a teenage boy’s man-boob-reduction surgery, which the court said is clearly "medically necessary" (or else he's gonna be so-o-o messed up) . . . . . Still more Chinese preparations for the Olympics: Retired restauranteur Guo Zhanqi offered to do his part by paying 2 yuan (about U.S. 25¢) per fly caught.

This week’s NOTW [999, 4-1-2007] mentions the German rabbit farmer who said he’d meet with North Koreans this month to talk about teaching them to breed monster rabbits to help solve the food crisis. Now farmer Karl Szmolinsky says the deal is kaput!, in that he suspects that instead of breeding the starter set he sent them last yr, top officials ate them.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.