Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tuesday’s Drip
Canada rips off medicinal marijuana patients / The “please come trash this house” MySpace party invite / The best defense lawyer in America / And flaming bidets

Civilization in Decline
Tomorrow, SCOTUS considers whether Wisconsin [CORRECTION: Texas, though Panetti is a Wisconsin native] can execute the kinda-insane double-murderer Scott Panetti, who acted as his own lawyer at one trial dressed in a purple cowboy suit and who subpoenaed the Pope and two dead people to testify (er, Jesus and JFK) . . . . . Five words: Russia’s floating nuclear power plants . . . . . Human rights violation: Gov’t docs reveal that Health Canada charges a 1,500-percent markup to disabled medicinal marijuana patients (plus, apparently, the stuff sucks).

The Human Condition Today
Dayton, Ohio, police rescued a man bound and gagged with duct tape, soaked in gasoline, and they’re certain he did it, himself, though they don’t quite know why . . . . . Monks at The Church of the Hills Monastery (Blanco, Tex.), facing trial, turn on each other as to who was having sex with whom . . . . . A worst-case “Risky Business” party in England, set up when Rachael Bell’s mild mom’s-away party announcement on MySpace.com was hacked into being a please-trash-this-house party [LINK CORRECTED, again] . . . . . Massachusetts shrink Eric Leskowitz and his cousin are preparing a documentary on whether that transcendental-meditation-type concentrated thinking (y’know, concentrate on peace, and all war will go away) might be helping the Red Sox at Fenway . . . . . A rapper named Busdriver explained that whole Don Imus thing for us: “The language in [rap] doesn’t necessarily constitute ill will. ‘Bitch’ and ‘ho’ can be terms of endearment” . . . . . Remember this name if you ever get in trouble in central Pennsylvania: H. Anthony Adams (the lawyer who just got Donald Duncan Jr. off [except for minor charges] after Duncan claimed his hidden camera that captured teenage girls undressing was really just a hidden camera to capture ghosts in his house) . . . . . A 61-yr-old F-Stater was arrested for shoplifting despite assuring the officer that the only reason she didn't wait in line to pay was that her Irritable Bowel Syndrome was acting up, so, gotta go.

NOTW Lite
Unanticipated consequence of chemical castration (say, for convicted child molesters): They get hot flashes . . . . . Life Imitates Art Imitates Life: Charlie Sheen settles up ($) with his stalker because a stalker-type character in his show violated the real-life stalker’s privacy . . . . . The Japanese toilet maker Toto Ltd. issued a major recall for its fully-equipped bidets because they were, er, catching fire . . . . . The autistic Barney Vincelette of Houston, Del., is Yr Editor’s hero because he took his extreme sensitivity to OPM (Other People’s Music) and beat them fair and square, i.e., he created some awful-sounding noises and had them declared to be music (Sonata for Calliope of Truck Horns, About to be Transcribed for Locomotive Horns Opus No. 1), and now “plays” it for his neighbors every time he hears their music, and the local judge just has to shrug.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.