Thursday, May 03, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
In the San Joaquin Valley town of Hilmar, Calif., Marcus Schultze and his gal allegedly broke into a home, saw that it was a deputy’s, stole his badge and all his cool stuff (but his piece wasn’t there), and drove away in his truck, so, man, are they in trouble, so the thing to do, they figured, was to stop somewhere and . . have sex . . with the engine running, which alerted passersby, who called police, and by the time came to make their getaway, the truck was out of gas, and the gal got caught, but Marcus escaped on foot.

NOTE: Ah, the perils of being a one-person webpage. Starting tomorrow, Yr Editor will have to be working on another project during the rest of May, requiring that NOTW Daily be cut back to Mon-Wed-Fri (and that, on Fridays, publication be delayed until about 4 p.m. New York time rather than the normal 12 noon). Same great quality. A little less often. I hope to be back to the 6-day schedule before the end of the month.

Civilization in Decline
The Associated Press discovers entrepreneurial meth dealers cutting product with strawberry flavoring, to attract first-time users . . . . . Sen. Barbara Boxer was kinder and gentler to Condoleezza Rice than Australian senator Bill Heffernan was to childless political enemy Julia Gillard, who was labeled unfit to govern because she is "deliberately barren" . . . . . The official Vatican newspaper called a comedian a "terrorist" because he criticized the Pope (or at least the remarks quoted by Reuters appear to be mundane criticisms) . . . . . Hutchinson (Kan.) Correctional Facility adopted a highly-alarming cost-cutting policy of issuing toilet paper only "as needed," but on closer reading, all it means is that when you bring in an empty roll, they give you a full roll (instead of, y’know, having to prove need use-by-use).

The Human Condition Today
Way out in a holler in southern West Virginia, a man was charged with killing another in an illegal duel . . . . . Great Lede: "Jojo Baby, a local artist and part-time drag queen, dropped by . . to check out some mannequins for sale. The door was open, so he walked in unannounced and came upon a pot of water boiling on the stove [with] a human head inside" (but it’s actually not that weird a story) . . . . . Another one of those "man stuck in airport without passport" stories [like all-time NOTW favorite Merhan "Alfred" Nasseri and the movie "The Terminal"]: Two Bangladeshi laborers go to Saudi Arabia via New Delhi, but the Saudis turn them away and confiscate their passports and return them not to Bangladesh but to Delhi (in whose terminal they lived for 48 days until repatriated).

Update
ABC News delved a little deeper into Washington, D.C.,’s $67M-dry-cleaning man [NOTW Daily, 4-27-2007], Roy Pearson, with an explanation of just how he came to sue for that particular figure over an $800 (a generous $800) pair of pants. He plans to call 63 witnesses.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Here’s another evergreen, or rather ever-brown: the official headquarters of the Diaper Pail Fraternity. Now, the more-normal members of DPF are the ones merely into wearing diapers and rubber pants. The less-normal ones, ah, . . . never mind.

NOTW, The Blog
Gimundo.com is start-up news service offering "Good News, Served Daily," to counteract all that disgusting, depressing stuff you’re forced to read in your regular news outlets. [Ed.: Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and good night!] Gimundo’s professional survey just released asked people why they thought the news was always so bad, and most people blamed it on the structure of the news business itself (which of course begs the question, in that publishers and broadcasters wouldn’t emphasize bad news if people refused to consume bad news). But here you go: 3 percent said a big reason why bad news is so popular is that "hearing about bad things makes me feel better about my own situation." [And good night, again!]
Newsrangers: Betina McCoy, Steve Dunn, Eli Christman, Gil Nelson, Ginger Katz
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.