Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wednesday’s 5-Star Special
A team of biologists who apparently specialize in bird genitals reported that female ducks have a receptor that’s corkscrew-shaped, to protect their eggs from rapists’ sperm, and that as evolution has made males’ genitals bigger, it has also made the corkscrew route even trickier (assuring that, after all these yrs, she still pretty much controls [by relaxing the corkscrew] who fathers her offspring). Thank God for bird-genital experts.

Civilization in Decline
The Republican Party of Utah’s Utah County (just south of Salt Lake City) actually debated a resolution condemning the influence of, er, Satan, for causing illegal immigration, and the sponsor, Don Larsen, actually cried in his presentation about how America is going to hell because of it ("If the Democrats take over the country, we will be dead") . . . . . New sentencing guidelines for England and Wales ask judges to take note of whether sex-assault victims under age 13 might have "consented" to the crime because, though it doesn’t excuse the crime, it might mitigate the punishment . . . . . D’Oh! Academics learned that corporate outside directors who suck up get invited to be on other boards but the ones who rock the boat (likelier to actually represent those things called "shareholders") don’t.

The Human Condition Today
The F State’s legislature presented the governor with a bill to solve the state’s hurricane insurance-funding crisis—no, wait, that was too complicated to deal with; it was a bill to allow a pet’s cremated ashes to be buried with the owner in people-type cemeteries . . . . . Art Works: "Artist" Carl Lindstrom though it would be a good time to show (at the Univ.of Hawaii gallery) his piece consisting of a bank of live b&w surveillance videos, except for one that looked live but was a taped loop featuring a semi-nude man with a gun, walking around (and wouldn’t ya know it, a gallery viewer got petrified) . . . . . You Know The Type: After canoeists emotionally rescued an apparently suicidal women in Idaho’s Snake River, and got her to shore, they were greeted by a sheriff’s deputy who immediately wrote them out two $85 tickets for having no life jackets . . . . . A Phoenix-area business exec named, er, "Jim," dresses up as a superhero ("Citizen Prime") several nights a week and does Guardian-Angel-type work on the streets . . . . . At a Daytona Beach Denny’s, a man wearing a purple wizard outfit is not a superhero; in fact, he was arrested after leaving his fiance’s 4-yr-old son at a booth and walking out.

Your Daily Loser
Jonathan Powell, 16, of Iowa City, apparently had some time to come up with an explanation of why his DNA was on the woman’s chest and inside her bra (i.e., he had been charged with sexual assault), but the best he could do was that he was out jogging and ran into her, and the two became benignly entangled, and he was unable to free himself for 45 minutes. (Seriously)

Good Enough for Gov’t Work
A NY Times piece points out how the number of food shipments into the U.S. has grown in multiples over the last 10 yrs but that the number of inspectors on the job is almost unchanged, which led former HHS Sec’y Tommy Thompson to say in 2004, "For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do."

Professor Music’s Weird Links
There are tinfoil hats, and there is that beekeeper-type anti-ray headgear Yr Editor called to your attention [NOTW Daily, 4-28-2007], and then there’s this site, for your serious, professional electrowaves-be-gone needs.

Newsrangers: Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Cindy Hildebrand, Patrick Geisler, Bea Westrate, Mark Neunder.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.