Friday, June 08, 2007

Friday’s 5-Star Special
An Alabama state Republican Senator punched out, in the chamber, a Democratic Senator, but now regrets it, believing that the shenanigans have made the otherwise-sterlingly-respected Alabama legislature look bad.

Civilization in Decline
Poland would like to help in NATO plans, but the unit it brought back from Pakistan had keys, and backup keys, stolen from its military vehicles, and spares may take several weeks to re-order . . . . . Biologists acknowledge that wildlife seem to be flocking to the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear-site accident (with radiation levels still 10x to 100x higher than background levels), but they’re split on what that all means . . . . . . . . . . Bank of America revealed that it cleared $22B last year, just in fees . . . . . An anti-violence pastor in Chicago (and advisor to an alderman-challenger) allegedly called in a bomb threat to his client’s HQ’s, probably for sympathy votes . . . . . A British town council in Stone, Shaffordshire, voted down permitting a kid’s pirate-themed party because his skull-and-crossbones flag wasn’t pre-approved, by application, which apparently must includes an impact statement discussions neighbors’ reactions . . . . . Nobel is on the way: Spanish Beer Makers Ass'n hypothesized that the "hops" in beer lowers cholesterol and tryglycerides and for reason was able to convince Cistercian nuns to be guinea pigs, and reductions did, indeed, happen (but it’s not clear whether the nuns got the alcohol version or the non-).

The Human Condition Today
Ronald Hoth, 56, was accused of stalking a woman, having reportedly started out as a friendly neighbor but then getting carried away and finally getting caught in drag (wig, bra, high heels) allegedly doing a number 1 and number 2 on her back porch . . . . . Son Matthew Herkel testified that, no, his allegedly-murderous mother did not (as she claims) hypnotize him into accepting an accidentally "implanted" memory that she had killed a man (i.e., she didn’t do it, and she needs to be more careful when she hypnotizes someone); the prosecutor says, Of course she did it.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Nathaniel Lundquist, 21, was arrested near Orlando when, after consensual gay sex at a construction site with a take-home guy, briefly left, only to return driving a big construction vehicle, which he allegedly aimed at his partner during two passes, slightly wounding him.

NOTW Lite
Health officials in Gujarat state in India believe that a smart place to pass out condoms is at movie houses that show porn, which may be true in India, but in the U.S., if men who went to porn houses were actually having sex, they wouldn’t be going to porn houses.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Meditators: Don’t get caught being an amateur. The Atlantean One Meditation Helmet separates the seriously self-enlightening from the weekenders. Get your Kundalini on, for the ridiculously low price of $197.60.

NOTW, The Blog
Turns out, Yr Editor overstated yesterday’s lede: Piquerism is already a paraphilic disorder. I’d never heard of even a single instance of it before, and surely, if I have never heard of it, with my vast perversional experiences, dating back through decades of intensive experimentation . . .. I have to stop here. If I keep talking, this won’t end where I want it to. It’s still rare, though. Even in New York City, where the guy was arrested, I’ll bet he’d have a hard time getting up a support group.

Newsrangers: Matt Mirapaul, Katy Campbell, Emory Kimbrough.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.