Monday, June 18, 2007

Monday’s 5-Star Special
What you do to get rich, see, is you find 450,000 people with an extra $20 in their pockets, and you convince them to give that $20 to you, and you’ll have $9M. Dennis Hope did that, he says. In exchange for their $20, he gave them a piece of paper "entitling" them to ownership of a small piece of some planet (or the Moon). But we’re in a down real-estate market, and Dennis frets over the prospects for his inventory of 7 trillion acres of unsold land on 95 planetary bodies. [When Yr Editor led with Mr. Hope in NOTW 824, 11-23-2003, he had just passed $6M.]

Civilization in Decline
Woman on probation for fraud steals the identity of another woman and ruins her credit for six months, then victim felicitously see the perp on the street and tracks her down for the police, and she’s arrested, convicted, and, er, given probation again . . . . . The U.S. Supreme Court last week ruled 5-4 that Keith Bowles had filed too late to challenge his murder conviction even though he was going only by what his judge told him was the deadline (i.e., SCOTUS: "HA-ha!") . . . . . A federal judge in Washington, D.C., ruled again that a poor proofreading job by the Justice Dept. is going to make it extremely difficult to get at the $100M-$175M stowed away by the biggest tax cheat in history . . . . . CBS and Fox declined to run Trojan’s hilarious new condom ads because they seem to focus on contraception rather than disease (Said a media critic, the networks "are in the business of nonstop soft porn [in programing], but God forbid we should use a condom in the pursuit of sexual pleasure").

The Human Condition Today
Looks like an absolute win-win situation: Artist Jill Coccaro wanted to take her shirt off on a downtown Manhattan street; none of her "viewers" complained; and on top of that, she now gets a $29K payout from the city because a cop arrested her after not getting the memo that NYC women can legally do that . . . . . A Boston-area gypsy couple are said to be negotiating a plea deal on insurance fraud over restaurant meals during which they had slipped ground glass down their throats to get bloody sick . . . . . Thieves got away with the safe at the Arkaba Hotel in Adelaide, Australia, but it wasn’t easy (A$20K, all in coins).

Your Daily Loser
Witnesses say Richard Glawson calmly faced the jury and said, "I’ll kill all of you if you find me guilty . . . and that goes for your family [sic], too," plus jailers said he made a "mosaic" in his cell, out of two bologna and cheese sandwiches.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
For those who thought B&D was easy, y’know, tie someone up and make ‘em lick your boots, stuff like that: Prepare for disillusion ("sociology of rope-bonding," the boola-boola restraint, "cling wrap chicken wing / frog leg," and much more . . much, much more).

Newsrangers: Tim Farley, Mark Neunder, Paul Di Filippo.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is ©2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.