Saturday’s 5-Star Special
According to fashion designers, little girls go from "toddler" to hubba-hubba, bypassing entirely the stage known as "plain old kid," sez an Arizona Republic report, and that’s true for the inventory at several outlets, including GapKids, which recently offered a "white, crocheted string bikini you’d likely see Anna Kournikova wearing on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue [but was] for a 12-month-old."
Civilization in Decline
Among the New York City school principals who got big bonuses this yr: one whose school is being shut down as bad, and two whose schools are phasing out for the same reason . . . . . A rich guy in a Washington, D.C., ‘burb claimed the right to cut down trees that interfere with a park's ecosystem, because, well, let’s see, OK, I got it, they disturb his kids’ nut allergies (but he didn’t come up with that one until the 3rd try, and by the way, the trees he wants to delete keep changing in size with every application he makes). But he’s rich, so "The Arrangements Have Been Made"—No, wait, the planning board actually turned him down! . . . . . British Medical Journal's literature review concludes that we have nothing to fear from Alzheimer's-inflicted drivers as long as they're not more than 3 yrs down the road from their first clinical diagnosis.
The Human Condition Today
Branden Tingey was apprehended in the act of trying to crack the safe at the Polidoro Italian Grill, and ya could tell he didn’t much know what he was doing because he had the office’s computer on, to a web page on how to crack a safe . . . . . Las Cruces, N.M., authorities have discovered four (4) large animal hoarding cases in the last six weeks, including a 129-cat batch that all had to be euthanized because of a "variety of ailments [including] AIDS" . . . . . The obviously-well-Americanized illegal alien who sued the grocery store in northern California after slipping on a grape, er, lost the case, but it might have been because she was forced to talk about the loss of future wages that she was demanding (yet had to admit that she couldn’t legally work) . . . . . In frequently-power-outed Myanmar, thieves know that on the first sign of blackout, to rush in and strip the copper wire off the poles (but if you don’t act quickly, the power might come back on) . . . . . Duane Williams admitted to police that he has "anger-management issues," like when he got ticked that the Wendy’s clerk didn’t say please or thank you, and he reached through the drive-thru window and punched her in the face.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Here’s a promotion ad for a zoo, featuring a dog whose attitude is somewhere on the scale of indifferent to perturbed, and just because they made him wear that life-size crocodile suit.
NOTW, The Blog
Next Week’s Posting Schedule: Mon, Thur, Sat only. It’s not that Yr Editor is taking time off; it’s that U.S. news flows will be lighter than usual.
Newsrangers: Anna Maloney, Paul Music, Scott Langill, Steve Miller, Bob McClafferty.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.