Saturday, June 02, 2007

Saturday’s 5-Star Special
Kentucky physicist-"futurist" Brooks Agnew is trying to build momentum for next yr’s expedition toward the North Pole, where he and his sign-ups will try to find the secret passage to the center of Earth (which the sign-ups suspect is hollow and in which another whole civilization lives). Before his death last yr, the previous leader of the expedition, Steve Currey, said his calculations showed the hole was around 84.4 degrees north, 41 degrees east, about 400 km northwest of Ellesmere Island. [Ed.: By the way, any time you see someone described as a "futurist," you might as well start rolling your pant legs up; if "futurist" is that person’s best credential, you’re not going to get any smarter listening to him (but fortunately, Agnew is also a physicist)].

Civilization in Decline
Nigerians Cheat? At the university entrance exams in Nigeria, they caught 40,000 people in the act (but actually that’s fewer than 5 percent of the test-takers) . . . . . In Washington, D.C., the ambassador from Sudan once again assured everyone that the death toll in Darfur has been zero, and he laid a threat on the U.S. for President Bush’s liveliest-yet proposed sanctions, i.e., Sudan’ll put a major crimp in our soft drink industry (but he hadn’t done good oppo-research, in that Coca-Cola, at least, has stopped buying "gum arabica" [which makes the fizz] from Sudan) . . . . . India’s prime minister just last week called for tamping down conspicuous consumption, but then there’s oil/biotech magnate, Mr. Mukesh Ambani, announcing his new, 60-story, 600-staffed private home . . . . . They say Ambani’s shack will be worth the equivalent of $1B, but you only need $22K to buy a designer-crossbreed leopard-housecat, offered by a Los Angeles company (limited to 100/yr) . . . . . The gov’t of China signaled that it’s worried that the Great Wall will actually get voted out of the new "7 Wonders of the World" club this yr and thus ordered a p.r. campaign to tout its pride and joy, and it certainly won’t help things that one or more mining companies in Inner Mongolia are allegedly busting up the Wall to run delivery trucks through so they don’t have to pay tolls at the official crossings.

The Human Condition Today
Mr. Maeyasu Kawamura, 60, was indicted for major theft of women’s clothing (all kinds, not just unmentionables) (n = 8,000 pieces), which he said he liked to sleep with . . . . . A municipal supervisor in Palm Bay, Fla., is getting sued for being too raunchy at work, grossing people out, bare-butt mooning from a tabletop, etc., and the ogre’s name is Ms. Donna Elliot.

Dept. of Homeland Security, wary that the gov’t (according to the 9-11 Commission) is short on "imagination," reconvened the "Sigma" group to pick the brains of sci-fi writers who each hold at least one technical doctorate degree (one of whom said, "We talk to a lot of strange people and read a lot of weird things") . . . . . The town of Reus, Spain (pop. 100,000) elected as councilman an Elvis impersonator who has mused about painting town hall pink and planting marijuana in city parks.

Erroror: Yesterday, Yr Editor foolishly assumed that the stem cells used for vagina-creation were from embryos, but in all likelihood they were from the women, themselves, and thus the gratuitous reference to Sen. Brownback was off-base. Serves me right. (Well, I’m not sure what Sen. Brownback’s stand is on vagina-creation itself, but he could be OK with it.)
Hoax: The "producers" of that Dutch reality TV show by which three contestants would vie for a terminally-ill woman’s kidney [NOTW Daily, 5-28-2007] said they made the whole thing up to sorta expose the inequities in The Netherlands’s organ-donation laws.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Here are more artistic urinals, to follow up on the page linked to last month [NOTW Daily, 5-7-2007] (well, the first 6 on the new page are the same as the earlier ones). The 9-11 Commission was right: No one in gov’t would have the imagination to create beauties like these.

This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.