Thursday, June 07, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
Brand-New-Paraphilia Alert: Frank Ranieri, 25, of New York City, was arrested for what police said were several instances of (after passing himself off as a cop) enticing teenage girls to let him jab them in the buttocks with a pin or a ballpoint pen, puncturing their cheeks, while he masturbated. One girl cleared several thousand dollars in the deals.

Civilization in Decline
BBC News asks the stinging question, "Is Gingerism as Bad as Racism?" (referring to the apparently inhuman oppression that redheads must endure in the UK) . . . . . And what year are we in, by the way? The question arises after this story, of the Pilgrim Baptist Church in Gastonia, N.C., where they thought it was a marvelous idea for three white guys to pay tribute to the history of gospel music by blackfacing themselves and lip-synching the classics (plus a little Randy Travis) . . . . . The residents of an area near Banda Aceh, Indonesia (which was nearly wiped off the map by that 2004 tsunami), got so traumatized by the 30-minute false alarm from their warning system Monday that they broke into the control box and disabled the damned thing.

The Human Condition Today
The jury is still out on whether cell-phone radiation is bad for you, but they sure are deadly, since they entice people to jump unwisely into the water to retrieve them, as these two dearly-departeds found out (Sheboygan, Wis., and Falls Lake, N.C.) . . . . . People swear that apparitions pop up all the time in, say, tree trunks: Jesus . . the Virgin Mary . . the former mayor of Rosemont, Ill. . . . . . A Rapid City, S.D., alderman, riding around so he could take down campaign signs at 1 a.m. (after a recent, unsuccessful bid for mayor), was being driven by a helper, who was (a) DUI, (b) too young to drink, and (c) a man dressed as a woman, whom the alderman kept referring to as "she" (or at least, that’s the alderman's story) . . . . . A 41-yr-old woman was sentenced in South Bend, Ind., for a 2-yr scheme of embezzling from her employer, and the woman’s identical twin sister faces similar charges (but from a different employer) . . . . . Church of Christ minister Alfred Pehl, who seems on his way to becoming all Travis-Bickle about speeders, was ticketed this week for endangering Cedar City, Utah, drivers . . . . . The prosecutor dropped the charge against Jayna Hutchinson, and what a charge it was: that she (inebriated, but still–) stared and made faces in a "taunting" and "harassing manner" at a Vermont State Police dog that was sitting in a cruiser so that the dog "perceived" a "threat" (which the prosecutor thought he’d have a hard time proving to a jury) . . . . . The F State, though, is never outdone on things like that, so Yr Editor reports that in Ocoee (near Orlando), police arrested an 11-yr-old boy for pointing a rubber-band gun (which actually more resembles a stick) at someone.

Your Daily Loser
Eric Kennedy, 38, Rochester, N.Y., got 12 yrs in the pen for repeatedly molesting his girlfriend’s young daughter, which he attributed in part to his "poor eyesight" in thinking he was actually fondling the girl’s mother.

NOTW Lite
Again! Again! After a big-rig driver nudged a wheelchair while pulling out of a gas station, and failed to notice that the chair had stuck to his grill, he remained oblivious until people stopped him, 4 miles down the road (but the guy in the chair wasn’t hurt) . . . . . The Times of London, using gov’t figures, said that when you merge all the different spellings, "Mohammed" is now the second most popular name for newborns in the UK and will likely be number one by year’s end . . . . . Hero or Just a Dork? A 15-yr-old girl, practicing her driving, accidentally crashed into her school, doing $50K damage.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Yr Editor, being too rushed once again to dig into the files that Prof. Music has so graciously supplied, promises to do better in the days ahead.

Newsrangers: Doug Trouten, Geoff Egan, Cindy Carlson, Joe Littrell, Peter Smagorinsky, George Elyjiw, Mark Neunder, Steve Miller, Kelly Green (who is Jayna Hutchinson’s lawyer).
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.