Thursday, June 21, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
A Guantanamo defense lawyer is set to release a small book of poems composed by detainees during their stays (after military people edited the submissions for coded messages), e.g., "My soul is like a roiling sea, stirred by anguish, violent with passion"). [Yr Editor had heard that Guantanamo detainees were despondent, but had no idea that hopeless incarceration had caused them to sink to such levels of misery that they had begun to commit poetry. Oh, the horror! Shut that place down now before there's even more poetry!]

Civilization in Decline
In Minnesota, at least, if you tell the boss to Go [Cheney] himself, and he fires you, Minnesota’s businesses still have to fund unemployment benefits for the guy . . . . . A Continental Airlines flight from Europe to New Jersey had an overflowing toilet, and made an unscheduled stop shortly after takeoff to fix it, and took off again, and turns out it wasn’t fixed, and overflow ran down the aisle, and there was nowhere to land for seven hrs (but that didn’t stop the cabin crew from serving delicious meals!).

The Human Condition Today
Helene de Gier sued Netherlands’s Nat’l Postcode Lottery (a game that’s kinda odd in that your neighbors in the same code area can sign up and share winnings if their code is randomly chosen, but not all neighbors sign up) because her neighbors won without her, and they started lording it over her, anguishing her by their "emotional blackmail" (but the judge was having none of it) . . . . . Foreigners dominate the Internet identity-theft market so they apparently didn’t know that the identity of "Herman Munster," of "1313 Mocking Bird Lane," wasn’t worth very much . . . . . India’s Medical Ass’n was grossed out on learning that a doctor boasted (with video!) that his 15-yr-old son had performed a Caesarean section on the doc’s patient, for Guinness Book consideration . . . . . School crossing guard Dale Hutchings was arrested in Berwick, Pa., and charged with a massive number of molestations of adolescents, as if Berwick parents had been out of town for months.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Compulsive masturbateurs running wild: A prominent New Jersey lawyer (formerly ass’t counsel to the state senate, currently member of his town’s planning board) was charged by police for getting it on with himself in a big parking lot just after high noon last Friday . . . . . And Aussie Daniel Blair, jeez, Daniel Blair, was at it all over his girlfriend’s house, including in front of her 3½-yr-old kid, and he wouldn’t stop, even after she stabbed him in the shoulder twice.

Police in Braunschweig, Germany, do what police sometimes do: They facilitated the exchange of information by the parties after an accident (but the accident here was that a condom broke in a brothel, and the lady wanted the customer’s ID just in case) . . . . . A retired doctor in England was apparently butted and mauled to death by one or more cows, who, as usual, had returned to their slow, calm grass-chewing ("Dead?" "What guy?" "Who, us?") by the time help arrived . . . . . Professor Paul Worsey’s Summer Explosives Camp is now in its fifth year, teaching high school kids how to blow things up (which he’s doing to recruit students to the U. of Missouri, Rolla’s mine engineering program) (but this yr, they have a student from, er, Mohamed Atta's Egypt).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
This is one guy’s view, anyway, of the 8 Craziest Cults, listing the familiar (cargo cults, Aum Shinrikyo) with the not-so (the foot-readers, the channel-18 people).

Newsrangers: Steve Miller, Stefan Palys.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.