Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Tuesday’s 5-Star Special
Kenya is one of those countries where, despite modernization, beliefs still run strong that witch doctors can put you in a real bind (make penises disappear, glue together couples having illicit sex). Here’s a first-person account of life in downtown Kisumu, Kenya, on Saturday, May 26, when a reporter for the East African Standard awoke to news of a growing and unruly crowd, fueled by word that a high-ranking man and a woman had checked into the Naselica Hotel and gotten themselves stuck together. Police were called; tear gas subdued the rioters; people climbed trees beside the hotel for better window views; an ambulance was waiting to take the couple to a hospital; downtown business was paralyzed for hours. The proprietor of the Naselica thinks a competitor started the rumor.

Civilization in Decline
It’s still debatable whether Ali Zenat will be successful in his campaign to make Jordan’s weddings safer, even though he has convinced many printers to publish on all invitations, "gunfire is prohibited"; traditions die hard, though, and maybe he should have started with just automatic-weapons gunfire [Wall Street Journal, pay per view] . . . . . Italy, which has 12 public holidays (to the US’s 10 and Britain’s 8) says: We need 7 more! . . . . . The federation of trade unions in South Africa brought out the heavy public-relations artillery in their current strike: We work so hard, we’re too exhausted to have sex when we get home.

The Human Condition Today
Well, of course: Call a rugby player, on the street, an unmasculine name (even if he is wearing a purple jumper), and he cleans your clock; what’s weird about that? (Oh, yeah, purple) . . . . . The Georgia burglar’s M.O. was to go quickly into the convenience store, swipe the lottery cards, set a fire to cover up clues, vacate (Problems: He accidentally set fire to his face; the surveillance video survived) . . . . . Police in Japan said an overworked 44-yr-old cop stabbed himself in the stomach because he couldn’t think of any other way to get some time off . . . . . Tennessee lawyer to the appeals court: "Judges [he might have written], the reason my convicted client deserves a new trial is because I was really, really sleepy during the first trial" . . . . . A NY Post survey of airplane rental outfits around NYC shows that maybe two dozen kids will be bypassing the traditional bus ride to summer camp this yr and be jetted in, with perqs, including one kid’s special request of Cap’n Crunch on board.

Malaysian technology: Researchers at Universiti Malaya produce a Viagra substitute (a natural!) consisting mainly of walnut extract (but it would take 7 lbs. of walnuts to equal the power of one blue pill) . . . . . By contrast, American technology is more practical, e.g., an outfit called LivingXL has just introduced, for $125, a toilet seat guaranteed to hold a half-ton butt.

The rich (on the taxpayers’ dime) college professor from yesterday, Alain Kaloyeros, actually draws not $666K/yr but $947K/yr from the NY state treasury, considering his SUNY research money (the NY Post reports).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
This page sorta runs up against a seam of what Yr Editor is looking for so, benefit of the doubt, here it is. It purports to be photographs of actual messy cars, as in are-you-kidding-me?-messy. The page is here because, of course, OCD-quality hoarding has been a major NOTW theme since the beginning, when Yr Editor learned that Clint Bolin had checked in to a Long Beach, Calif., ground-floor apartment in 1988, and a short time later checked out, leaving 600 boxes filled with 30 tons of rocks and cement chips. Now the last photo on the messy-car page was obviously staged, but the others appear to be the products of authentically-disordered car owners.

Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Ginger Katz.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.