Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tuesday’s 5-Star Special
Prodigious dope-growers have forced California’s Mendocino County to cry Uncle: County officials say there’s too much of it (227,000 plants seized last yr, and the stoners are still way ahead), so legalize it already!

Civilization in Decline
The pilot on the Vueling Airlines flight from Lisbon to Madrid Sunday had quite a job in front of him: Convince the boarding passengers that the flight would be safe despite the fact that more than half the seats were roped off because of a "safety" problem . . . . . Prison-crowding in the UK is apparently so severe that, over the last 5 yrs, 8,000 jailable sex offenders have been released instead ("cautioned"), including 1,678 whose victims were children, and 234 actual rapists . . . . . Alabama leads the nation—in reluctance to assure that death-row convicts get post-trial legal help, to evaluate such niggling issues as, well, was the trial fair (like, where the jury didn’t even deliberate a half hour), and ABC News has the story.

The Human Condition Today
In the highly competitive funeral business in Shanghai, two undertakers fistfight over a corpse in a hospital ER, in front of grievers, and then out come the nunchakus (Seriously) . . . . . Yet another tragic urination death [as NOTW has reported many times, usually involving roadside cliffs and night-time]: A train conductor in Berlin tried to tinkle out of an open door at 70 mph . . . . . Close to a world record for lack of rehabilitation: Eugenio Eschevarria, who had just bailed out of jail in Manchester, N.H., spotted a mark in the stationhouse lobby and (according to police) scammed her out of $1,500 . . . . . [South Carolina headline] "Husband Writes Profanities on Wife; Wife Bites on Husband" [Ed.: ‘nuff said!].

Your Daily Loser
Sun City, Ariz., veterinarian Joshua Winston, who is apparently a regular licensed vet, in business for a while, was arrested after assistants reported that he had dealt with a disobedient Chihuahua by punching it in the head. Five times.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
In Broken Arrow, Okla., just outside Tulsa, police are on the lookout for the guy who has, four times recently, gone into convenience store restrooms fully clothed but emerged wearing only a diaper (at least twice "exposing himself"). He’s kinda skinny and drives a silver Ford Ranger.

They aren’t as famous as Lucky and Flo, the sniffer dogs trained to find pirated CDs and DVDs in Malaysia [NOTW M002, 4-22-2007], but apparently Mok and Lai were good drug-sniffers in Thailand, but they were recently fired for being unable to control their territory-marking while on duty (which resulted in some unhappiness when travelers claimed their luggage) (Bonus: One was also frisky, as in, y'know, leg-clutching) . . . . . In Orlando, a confrontation between immigrant construction workers and protesting senior citizens escalated when a worker lettered a sign "Old People Suck," which set off the seniors, one of whom (interviewed by WFTV-TV) said, "I’m old! I don’t suck!" . . . . . A group of Australian materials companies has closed on a deal to sell a shipment of sand to, er, Saudi Arabia (well, it’s sand that doesn’t contain silica, which means it’s just right for sandblasting).

Today’s NY Times goes beyond that breast-feeding-strangers fatwa Yr Editor mentioned last month [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2007] to add another one about how it’d officially be a good thing to drink the Prophet Muhammad’s pee-pee, and reports that the people of Egypt (where the issuing clerics operate from) have had enough of this nonsense. It’s harming Muslims "more than the cartoons," said one scholar, referring to those 2006 Danish caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
will return tomorrow

NOTW, The Blog
Erroror: In the current News of the Weird [NOTW M009, 6-10-2007], Martins Ferry should be in Ohio, not West Virginia.

Newsrangers: Steve Miller, Bea Westrate, Dave Woodall, Jim Haswell.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.