Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Tuesday’s 5-Star Special
a sloooowww news day

Civilization in Decline
One place we might be headed, the Safety Police say, is standard equipment in cars (the technology is done) to remind you, when you park, to take your urchin (in the back seat) with you [Ed.: and, let’s see, what else from the News of the Weird’s archive, oh, yes, standard equipment to detect whether there’s a pedestrian that you’ve hit, embedded in your windshield] . . . . . The UK’s Royal Air Force, straining to make Walter Reed Medical Center look good, has awarded a typist the equivalent of $980k for a repetitive-strain keyboard injury (vs. about $125k for an airman who loses a leg) . . . . . London’s Daily Mail had an on-the-scene report last Friday from Russia, from an annual camp that has largely turned into Putin Youth, with one of the messages being that there aren’t enough Putinistas in the world and thus immediate procreation is required . . . . . In Stoke-on-Trent, England, a artist's tribute to the environment—in the form of a 21-ft high, er, metal tree that they had to take down real trees to clear space for.

The Human Condition Today
In a suburb of Barcelona, Spain, a guy is headed to jail for two yrs for the crime of playing music too loud . . . . . From New Zealand, vegansexuals, who say they are "attracted" to carnivores but turned off at the thought of intimacy with the equivalent of a bundle of animal carcasses . . . . . Headline [Houston Chronicle]: "Harlingen Man Says He Couldn’t Smell Dead Wife" (dead in a back room for three days, but diabetes has damaged some nose nerves).

A consensus that things were headed in the wrong direction caused a revolt in Shelburne, Nova Scotia, er, in a major beehive, where the queen’s low approval rating required intervention by RCMP bee whisperers . . . . . India’s estimated 2m prostitutes apparently form a generous demographic for a new monthly magazine on sex work, including bios, emotional essays, and poems . . . . . Johns Hopkins’s latest: breeding mice with human schizophrenia genes (Bonus: from one family in Scotland!) . . . . . But that’s at least serious research, as contrasted with Univ. of Texas psychologists who drew paychecks while asking 400 students to give reasons why they chose to have sex and then 1,500 others to then rank those reasons in importance, and it’s hard to decide which—the researchers or the students—were more trying to call attention to themselves.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
The "Hiccups Warehouse" is a page with just video clips and audio clips of different people hiccuping. Seriously.

Newsrangers: Tony Flynn, Mark Neunder.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.