Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Wednesday’s 5-Star Special
Revelation from the trial (and guilty verdicts) against the four 2005 London follow-up suicide bombers (whose attack failed two weeks after the big July 7 subway attacks): The failure was due to ringleader Muktah Said Ibrahim’s inability to add correctly when calculating the ratios of ingredients, rendering the bombs harmless. There was evidence that Ibrahim failed math in school.

[Reminder: This is a 6-day-a-week web page, only not right now (being Mon-Wed-Fri for a while)]

Civilization in Decline
Making Alberto Gonzales look like a statesman: Julian Moti was appointed attorney general of the Solomon Islands, despite being on the lam from child-sex charges in Australia (Moti is a good buddy of the Solomons’ prime minister) . . . . . A hospital in Kuala Lumpur made the news by admitting that its doctors and nurses fail to wash their hands, gasp, "40 percent" of the time, but the naive editors at Reuters somehow missed the memo that that’s about the rate in many U.S. hospitals . . . . . When China has problems, they tend to be b-i-i-i-g problems, like the number of mice that overran a lake area in Hunan province, er, 2,000,000,000 of the rascals (But officials in Luoyang maybe went too far with their bounty on dead flies in town, i.e., the equivalent of 7 cents each) . . . . . Adding to the benefits of wearing the hijab (other than the benefit of pleasing God): The British juror in her 20s who, until she was ratted out, listened to her music player during the trial [Ed.: Other benefits: bank robbery disguise (NOTW Daily, 7-5-2007) and, well, he could have used a hijab, that wanking Oklahoma judge Donald Thompson (NOTW 858, 7-18-2004)] . . . . . Another of those examples of how legislatures are composed basically, not of problem-solvers, but of slackers: Nashville’s Tennessean calculated that 42 percent of all legislative items this past session were just "resolutions," mostly praising this and that.

The Human Condition Today
Your Daily Schadenfreude: There was a court hearing in Sydney on Monday for the 25-yr-old woman, diagnosed as mentally ill last yr, who just (allegedly, but–) killed her mom and dad, who were Scientologists and had thus prevented her from being treated by psychiatrists [CORRECTION: Dad and sister dead, mom wounded] . . . . . In Greeley, Colo., two teenagers cut the top out of their car and drove it, Evel Knievel-style, off of a ramp into a 25-ft-deep pit of water, to half-predictable results, i.e., one survived . . . . . Your latest hit-and-run where the driver is so sh*t-faced that he ignores the fact that the victim is stuck in his windshield . . . . . God’s Will: Lightning (from a blue sky) struck down a guy in Miami, selling Bibles door to door.

Your Daily Loser
An unidentified 45-yr-old restaurant worker in Cambridge, Mass., got stabbed in his manhood by robbers, bloodying it, but merely wrapped a tourniquet around it and returned to work for several more hours before seeking treatment.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
John Worman, 49, charged with filming himself having sex with girls and infants, was permitted trial-preparation access (with his lawyer at his side and FBI agents at the door) to the 11,000 videos in evidence, but according to the prosecutor, Worman seemed to be smiling as he reviewed them, even rewinding, zooming in on the private parts.

NOTW Lite
Coooool: a 1,500-lb. bowling ball rolling downhill and knocking over everything in sight in downtown Meadville, Pa. . . . . . Let us all praise Doc Johnson! A surgery professor at Northwestern Univ. med school is marketing her own anatomical organ models, following her frustration with all the incorrect supply-house models and her experience having to buy up dildos from sex shops to use in her classes . . . . . The central Brazil resort town of Palmas installed a steel mesh net to keep bathers safe from piranha bites (180 so far, but since it’s a man-made lake, they suspect they’re all from one piranha, that little booger) . . . . . A British firm says it can take body fat with stem cells, insert it into women’s chests, and grow ta-tas . . . . . And in Statesboro, Ga., Mitchell Hendrix, 18, who was about to be burned alive in a car crash, survived, not because the fire truck got there quickly enough to save him, but because a septic company pump truck happened upon the scene, and one of the guys doused the fire with 1,500 gallons of raw sewage.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Nope, not today, either.

NOTW, The Blog
This Mon-Wed-Fri thing may not work out very well, either. I tried to cut out the stories that were just semi-interesting to me, hoping to list just a few that were really interesting. But that turned out to be a lot, and there are still five or six others that I think I might come to realize are really interesting, too. See, I’m supposed to be on modified R&R now, and I’m still reaching for the Xanax.

Newsrangers: Karl Olson, Brian Bjolin, Emory Kimbrough, Diane Gunnels-Rowley
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.