Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Wednesday’s 5-Star Special
Suspicions Confirmed: Hindus have a god for everything, because last weekend in Malaysia there was a five-day celebration for the Goddess Bahuchara Mataji, whose headquarters is in India and who has other duties, but at this particular celebration, she was the deity for transsexuals.

Civilization in Decline
Practice begins next week for the Oklahoma State football team, and so far, that will include star linebacker Chris Collins, despite the fact that he’s been under indictment for 3 yrs for a DNA-backed charge of at least statutory-raping a drunk 12-yr-old girl . . . . . Alcohol, the Great Equalizer: A 21-yr-old genius student at MIT, probably twice as smart as you and with twice as many friends as you, who was in NYC for the summer on an internship, apparently got drunk and fell, fatally, off of his apartment house . . . . . First there was Monday’s 5-Star Special on promiscuous labeling of people as "sex" offenders, and now this: An F-State sheriff has insisted on potential sex-offender-labeling punishment for a 21-yr-old road-rager who bare-mooned a carful of people, when the carful included a 14-yr-old boy.

The Human Condition Today
Family values: A Wisconsin couple left the woman's 7-yr-old son home alone several times, locked up, with only a bucket to dump in, while they watched Green Bay Packers’ games on TV at a casino, and they could’ve hired a sitter if they hadn’t blown so much money on a house full of Packer memorabilia . . . . . This was the plan: Five Chinese men embezzled the equivalent of $6.7M, then they’d play lotteries so they could, er, pay back the $6.7M out of their generous legitimate winnings, but, naturally, they lost every last fen . . . . . Arrested in Gary, Ind., for beating his wife: Rev. Robert Nichols, an anger-management counselor . . . . . A round-eyed former Mitsubishi executive has sued the company for firing him (attributed to his not bonding well with his Japanese superiors) because, at a 2005 evening out, they kept teasing him at a bathhouse about how hung he is . . . . . Russell Tavares, 25, was sentenced to 7 yrs in the pen for losing control of himself, to wit, getting mad that a man called him a "nerd" in a chatroom and driving from Virginia to Texas just to set fire to the guy’s trailer . . . . . Less harmful, but perhaps still a little too obsessed for Yr Editor’s taste: Norm and Lexy Stevenson leave no stone unturned to get back their pet, er, parakeet . . . . . F-State Logic: Authorities in Pensacola said Cheveon Ford, 21, made 292 false calls to 911 (with the only explanation being that he didn’t have any minutes left on his cell phone and that 911 calls are free).

Your Daily Loser
Kevin Rich, 40, of Oneida, N.Y., was arrested three separate times Sunday in the space of three hours, for, respectively, panhandling, disorderly conduct, and soliciting money under false pretenses.

NOTW Lite
Researchers at Hong Kong Polytechnic University have written up a prescription for better-fitting bras, because their data show that a "woman’s breast is a very complex 3-D geometry," and chest/cup isn’t nearly as nuanced as overall build; breast volume; inner, outer and lower breast shape; height; and "gradient and orientation."

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Friday would be a good day to post another one.

NOTW, The Blog
Today's post was late because of ISP failure . . . . . First, a TV station in China found a restaurant that made yummy dishes with actual cut-up cardboard as filler, and then the gov’t put the TV station managers in jail for scaring people with a hoax report (with the managers supposedly apologizing for setting the restaurant up), and now it turns out many think the station got it right the first time . . . . . And the owners of Weekly World News (The Onion for the trailer-park-and-hair-curler set) are shutting down the print (supermarket) edition next month; thus, you’ll only see website versions of stories like the woman who got pregnant after misapplying her contraceptive jelly by spreading it on her toast.

Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Larry Ellis Reed, Ginger Katz, Ken Vermette, Eric Gibbs, Brian Wilkinson
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.