Monday, August 06, 2007

Monday’s 5-Star Special
The weekly Nashville Scene reported from on the ground at the latest Christian Nudist Convocation at a Tennessee nudist camp, finding that (a) Christians dislike the CNC people because God doesn’t support public nakedness and (b) nudists dislike the CNC people because they think they’re nuts. But CNC people have made a thorough scriptures-reading and, in the spirit of al-Qaeda’s turning the pages of the Quran sideways to find textual support, have found that buck-nakedness is just fine with the Bible. "To most Christians," said one, "this [nudist camp] would be the end of the world. [T]o me, it’s Jerusalem." "You know, of all the missionary-type endeavors to do—some people get sent to Africa, some people get sent to South America—and the Lord was like, ‘I want you to go to nudist resorts.’ And I’m like, ‘Wow, what an assignment . . ..’"

Civilization in Decline
Not just rich Americans, but rich Indian Hindus, too: "Look-ee how rich I am! I can spend [$9k] to give my 2-yr-old a birthday party!" . . . . . A homeless man in Augusta, Ga., also happens to be a registered sex offender, but not having a home is no excuse under the law not to register your home address (hence, he’s facing life in prison) . . . . . Miss "Tori of Atlanta," evidently a top-of-the-line "escort," announced on her website that she’s headed for 6 months in Iraq in the Green Zone and will be available for contractors but not GI’s.

The Human Condition Today
A Waterville, Maine, dentist, under license-suspension for many instances of inexplicable performance (one assistant called the office’s patient-safety "terrifying"), is fighting to get reinstated, blaming the craziness on the stress she has been under because her husband is not able to leave his native Iraq . . . . . Detroit pastor Walter Steen got 15 months in prison for his God Will Provide Tax Service, which IRS found prepared 1,578 returns for people during 2002-2004 with 1,573 finding IRS owed ‘em . . . . . In Montgomery County, Pa., bad enough that a guy prowls around people’s homes at night, but then what he’s looking for are dirty diapers in the trash.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
A Lake Charles, La., couple was described by the sheriff as "frequently" "engaging in consensual sexual behavior involving a firearm," an activity that ended last week when the man was accidentally shot to death in flagrante delicto.

Good Enough for Gov’t Work
Early on in the Iraq reconstruction, Gen. Petraeus’s unit gave Iraqis as many as 190,000 AK-47s and pistols without ever recording where they were going . . . . . A test of emergency conditions at Sequoyah Nuclear Station in Tennessee found that 31 sirens worked just fine and that, after all, 31 out of 108 is a whopping twenty-eight pecent!

China’s pre-Olympics courteousness-rehabbing of its population has now extended to threatening arrest of cussers at a soccer match . . . . . And our in-your-face pedophile, Jack McClellan [NOTW Daily, 7-30-2007], has now been ordered by a Los Angeles judge not to pass within 30 feet of anyone under 18 yrs old until August 24, when he must explain himself in detail in court.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today, either

NOTW, The Blog
Yr Editor will not post NOTW Daily on Wednesday (8-8-2007).

Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Sue Clark, Tom Barker.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.