Saturday, August 11, 2007

Saturday’s 5-Star Special
You can confess your crime in a letter you send out from jail, because those are privileged and won’t be opened, but if you screw up the address, the letter will be returned to sender, at which point it is incoming mail, which is always scrutinized for contraband. Quinton Thomas found out the hard way. (Bonus: copious, precious street-talk, e.g., "stink the cracker" [kill the white witness against me])

Civilization in Decline
Hamas begins the arduous task of establishing a navy for Gaza, which means, get some swimmers (and in due time, a boat) . . . . . The main Katrina criticism of Mayor Nagin was that he delayed calling a mandatory evacuation because he feared the effect on the city’s business community, which he dismissed as posh, but then here he is this week, downplaying the city’s murder rate by calling it a "two-edged sword," i.e., it "keeps the New Orleans brand out there."

The Human Condition Today
A 12-yr-old Iowa boy, police say, stole 6 cars in 4 hours in the town of Hawkeye; apparently, everyone in town leaves the key in the ignition when they park . . . . . Judge Gone Bad: Federal judge Edward Nottingham’s divorce case opened this week, and he was forced to testify on his $3k strip-joint bill his wife discovered, plus the $150 "dating-site" charge (though that one appears to be just a porn site) . . . . . Galveston, Tex., judge David Garner had a much better day, having turned in indictee Bryan Connelly, who allegedly wrote Garner and offered the judge $5,000 to kill former prosecutor Donnie Quintanilla . . . . . We All Have Buttons: A 21-yr-old female customer at Changes club in Seattle charged the stage on karaoke night and started screaming and whaling on the singer who was doing Coldplay’s "Yellow": "Oh, no, not that song. I can’t stand that song!"

Your Daily Loser
Jazmine Roberts, 19, was detained and arrested outside the Neiman Marcus story, charged with shoplifting, despite going ballistic on the security guard, pointing out, "It’s too late [to arrest me]! I already left the store!"

Leading Economic Indicator: Telekom Malaysia Bhd. sent poor Yahaya Wahab his (actually, his late father’s) phone bill in April, for the equivalent of, er, US$218 trillion.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Soon.

Newsrangers: Jenny Beatty, Neil Gimon.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.