Friday’s 5-Star Special
Such startling news that Yr Editor is even willing to use the mega-cliché "Sign of the Apocalypse": Rev. Tom Ambrose of St. Mary and St. Michael Church, Trumpington, England, delivered his Christmas Day sermon in 2006 (and maybe others) via PowerPoint (and is now answering for his sin at a congregants’ tribunal).
Civilization in Decline
The L.A. Times profiled Ravi Singh, volunteer pooper cop of a village in India, armed with a shrill whistle to blow when he catches street defecators in the act, because the problem is less the adequacy of latrines than breaking people’s outdoor habits (even among people who have toilets in the home) (and they’ve got a point, in that latrines are small and smelly, but, ahhh, the great outdoors!) . . . . . A TV comedy troupe staged a fake motorcade in Sydney, Australia, and two supposedly-tight security checkpoints (to protect the APEC talks) waved ‘em through, until they got within a block of G.W. Bush’s hotel, even though in one open car, an actor dressed as Osama bin Laden saluted the crowds (ultimately, they were arrested, but only ultimately) . . . . . Among new micro-targeted prayers of the Church of England: for train riders who can’t find a seat or who are delayed.
The Human Condition Today
Some 83-yr-old who had done extensive baseball homework died recently in Lakeland, Fla., and his wife and friends believed him, for at least the last 20 yrs, that he was former Red Sox relief pitcher Bill Henry (who had a lifetime ERA of 3.26, which nowadays will get you $10m/yr guaranteed), but one of those obsessive baseball historians turned up the real Bill Henry, age 79, living happily in Texas (but "happy," also, was the other Bill Henry, who played ‘em into the grave) . . . . . Arrested in Des Moines, Iowa, for DUI and various indignities visited upon the arresting officer: good-time Danielle Brown (Bonus: nice smile) . . . . . Recurring Theme Plus: The adult sisters have kept mom’s body in cold storage for 10 yrs, and have visited more or less weekly to chat her up, re-apply her lipstick, etc., and, yeah, she’s at the Norman-Bates’s-mom stage of morbidity . . . . . Young March Boedihardjo, 9, a math prodigy admitted to the master’s program at Baptist University in Hong Kong, said after one day in class that it was too easy . . the little punk . . . . . A multinational cosmetic-surgery office was busted in San Jose, Calif., because both Ms. Ha Nguyen nor Mr. Zbigniew Makowski apparently, er, misplaced their medical licenses (with at least one complaining patient having been turned into sideshow material).
The Washington Supreme Court overturned the murder conviction of Mr. Darrell Everybodytalksabout (on an access-to-attorney issue) . . . . . Hannaford Bros. supermarket, Farmington, Maine, carded Barbara Skapa, 65, when she tried to buy wine (and refused to sell it to her because she forgot her ID) (state law: only if they look 27 or less).
Good Enough for Gov’t Work
A Seattle woman will at least not get jail time (but actually deserves a medal) for exposing how easy it is to cheat on local voter registration (Register her dog by changing her phone bill to his name, No problem; Admit ruse to officials when dog receives absentee ballot, That’s a problem; Dog gets sent absentee ballots, anyway, for the next two election cycles, Back to no problem).
The Orlando-area councilwoman Debra Rogers will not face charges for that incident in July [NOTW Daily, 7-16-2007] when police found her 18-yr-old daughter, covered in oil and who had allegedly broken free of her parents’ attempted exorcism.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Pick up some part-time money? Check out kink.com’s pay scale for online porno modeling, and fill out their application (with your real names; no dogs' or big league ballplayers’ names).
The ever-popular Errorors section returns! Yr Editor wasn’t actually trying to get Australian men kicked in the jewels by Megan Conroy yesterday. Thanks to the several readers who pointed out that it’s actually calling her "may-gun" that pushes her buttons, not "mee-gan."
Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Ginger Katz, Diane Gunnels-Rowley, Pierre Langenegger, Steve Miller, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.