Friday, September 14, 2007

Friday’s 5-Star Special
The Wall Street Journal's usually subscription-only, but this morning, for you, this one's free: about kids who "collect" art. Just when you’re thinking it’s only rich parents setting up trusts for tax purposes, you see how into art some of the little urchins are: Ms. Dakota King, 9, has 40 pieces and specializes in animals and "happy colors." Ms. Shammiel Fleischer-Amoros, 10, saying, "I’m really scared, but Daddy told me I have to negotiate," succeeded in knocking $200 off of a $3,200 sculpture. Taylor Houghton, 14, decided at age 7 to collect art themed on his favorite food (candy) and now has $30k worth and is on dealer-notifications lists, for when works become available.

Civilization in Decline
The police’ll try anything to get the crime down in Hertfordshire, England, even a daring new approach, with signs around town reading, er, "Don’t Commit Crime" (and companion signs at gas stations: "All Fuel Must Be Paid For").

The Human Condition Today
Strangest F State Case in a While: Apparently a north Fla. farm woman, married 57 yrs, shot her husband and their 39 animals to death before taking her own life . . . . . A companion to a report yesterday: Amber Helton, 21, of South Carolina, driving a stolen car, didn’t say she was on her way to turn herself in on a separate warrant [NOTW Daily, 9-13-2007] but did say she was on her way to pay a traffic ticket . . . . . Miss Ventura County 2005 was defrocked for not being single at the time of the pageant, but she still won’t give her damned crown back (and the pageant is suing because it now looks like her excuse, that she was drunk at the time and didn’t remember the wedding, was way-deep b.s.) . . . . . God’s Will: Scammers in the UK are selling fake holy Zam Zam water (from Mecca), which causes a consumer loss of all the concrete benefits Muslims get from drinking real Zam Zam water . . . . . Fine Points of the Law: (1) A convicted DUI man challenges the hearing examiner’s opinion that a damning breath retest was properly done despite the man's possibly disqualifying belch beforehand because, the examiner concluded, it was only a "dry burp" and not a belch"; (2) That California judge who ruled that an indecent exposure law, which read anyone who exposes "his person" indecently, applied only to men, was soundly reversed (but there’s a backstory; see below); (3) A judge in Sheboygan, Wis., freed an accused child predator, only because state law required, for conviction, that he try to lure her to a "secluded place," and the judge said a "shelter" in a public park wasn’t "secluded" (Bonus: Minutes earlier, the jury had convicted the guy, but the judge overruled ‘em) . . . . . Oh, no! A New Zealand nat’l legislator fell for the ol’ dihydrogen monoxide joke (asking a drug policy advisor if he had a position on this "drug").

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
The recreational diaper-user Lawrence Robarge, 48, of White River Junction, Vt., has been charged with harassing at least one woman with messages and photos inviting her to join him in the joys of feces-oriented paraphilia. (The woman’s response, "Gross old man leave me alone," was of course merely a sign of encouragement, he thought.)

NOTW Lite
Terrebonne, Ore., was the site of a "berserk llama syndrome" incident (foot-stomping, teeth-baring, spitting, biting) . . . . . Recurring: The latest Foreign Accent Syndrome afflicted Czech racecar driver Matej Kus, 18, whose English was halting before the crash but perfectly fluent and accent-less during the ambulance trip to the hospital (but not since then).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Here’s an evergreen, for your viewing pleasure: The abstract of the 2004 Indian medical journal article, "Accidental Condom Inhalation" (by an apparently highly skilled 27-yr-old "lady" philatelist---no, wrong word).

NOTW, The Blog
OK, here's the deal on the woman who exposed "his person": A neighbor kid was bouncing a basketball too damn much, and too loudly, so the woman, 41, decided that a proper retaliatory action plan would be to disrobe completely in front of him and to do that each time in the future that he bounced that damned ball. (Apparently, none of the things that you're thinking right now ever happened.)

Newsrangers: James Wicht, Brian Caesar, Joe Littrell, R.W. Zehr, Raul Stone-Cousley
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.