Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
Authorities in Mobile, Ala., are investigating whether Judge Herman Thomas (already under a cloud for other reasons) had a habit of taking certain defendants into his inner office and giving them bare-butt spankings; between 6 and 12 young men have told similar stories about da judge. (Alleged rationale: You wouldn’t be in trouble today, young man, if you’d been paddled enough growing up.)

Civilization in Decline
A gov’t agency in Mumbai, India, has begun to encourage its workers to stop spitting while on the job (including shaming one "employee of the day" whom it catches hocking) (Ed: And though in Mumbai and in other developing countries, cultural tradition may condone spitting, their problem is not nearly as serious as it is in . . . Major League Baseball].

The Human Condition Today
Polish author Krystian Bala was sentenced to 25 yrs for a murder that wasn’t close to being solved for 3 yrs, until someone realized that Bala’s 2000 novel tracked the murder and contained non-public facts . . . . . Norman Hutchins, 56, was jailed again for what appears to be a lifelong sexual fetish for hospital gowns, oxygen masks, and other medical equipment . . . . . Alberta's Edmonton Sun reported that "Maggie," age 76, has for the last 7 yrs enjoyed munching on strips of, er, the Edmonton Sun, and has vowed to quit only because of a recently-discovered esophagus blockage [Ed.: Canada’s Sun papers are not exactly the first names in sophisticated journalism, but I don’t think they’re tabloid-tabloid] . . . . . For heaven’s sake, if you’re ever in Brisbane, Australia, and you run into Megan Jane Conroy, 18, don’t pronounce it "mee-gan"; it’s "may-gun," because if a man gets it wrong, she’ll kick him in the huevos . . . . . Specialty thief Michael Marburger was sentenced to 3 yrs in the joint for a series of thefts of, er, colonoscopes, totaling at least $400k worth, to feed his gambling habit . . . . . Motorcyclist Justin Patterson, 22, was arrested after a high-speed chase near Rome, Ga. (topped out at 154 mph), because he was late for an appointment with the driver’s license office to get his motorcyclist license.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Yr Editor has been top-heavy this week with public wankers, but, hey, get over it: This is News o’ the Weird! Now comes Alan Froula, who was arrested on federal charges at Denver Int’l Airport after alighting from a flight in which he allegedly fondled himself at the cuff of his shorts most of the flight. Said one passenger, "He was smiling and seemed to be enjoying himself."

Bishop Desmond Tutu, the moral conscience of South Africa, was guest of honor at a national barbecue day in Cape Town. "There are so many things that are pulling us apart. This [celebration of barbecue] has a wonderful potential to bring us all together."

Good Enough for Gov’t Work
The Air Force admitted that it had flown six cruise missiles from North Dakota to Shreveport, La., without first removing their nuclear warheads (which violates a treaty and various protocols). Heads will roll on this boo-boo, said a CNN military analyst.

Update has a list of Dennis Saunders’s [NOTW Daily, 9-5-2007] police-confiscated porn videos, which he had meticulously listed, and valued at $25,000.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
There’s a Web page for every damned thing, including for people who eat ice.

Newsrangers: Christopher Henry
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.