Thursday, September 27, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
A surprisingly slow week. I see 4-stars, 3-stars . . .

Civilization in Decline
The Catholic archbishop in Mozambique (at least 16 percent of whose population has HIV) is really playing unfairly in the Church’s traditional anti-condom game: He needs to stick to extolling the glories of procreative sex; it’s cheating to claim that manufacturers deliberately daub condoms with HIV so that Europe can re-colonize Africa . . . . . Hofstra University plans a love-fest next month, with probable standing-o’s for radical lawyer Lynne Stewart, making a rare public appearance since her conviction for aiding terrorists . . . . . School officials in Ontario told CamWest News Service that there’s a province-wide problem of kids dousing themselves in Axe and Tag body sprays and setting themselves on fire, which according to the YouTube videos, causes only a split-second flash, except of course when the flames last longer than that . . . . . Toyota, with a good safety record, announced a recall yesterday, of, er, floor mats.

The Human Condition Today
Fire chased a Pennsylvania couple out of their trailer, and they made sure to grab their dogs, but somehow left behind the woman’s 4-yr-old son . . . . . Rodney Rogers and the Bowers family submitted their housing dispute to an arbitrator, like mature human being—no, actually, Rodney took a chain saw and cut the house right down the middle . . . . . Note to Karl Rove: The CFO of an airline accused by another airline of deleting incriminating documents has denied the charge, claiming that what he was actually deleting was a humongous amount of pornography that he had on his work computer(s) . . . . . Recurring: Another strapping young criminal, in his physical prime, gets shoved out the window of a house he was burglarizing, by an 80-yr-old woman . . . . . A hospital lab technician in Indianapolis is under investigation for restraining a 3-yr-old patient by, er, biting him on the shoulder . . . . . A dog-raising entrepreneur here in Weird Central was arrested for growing marijuana, and, well, growing pit bulls on steroids ("nuclear-sized," "the largest, most bigboned blockheads around").

Your Daily Loser
Chicago police officer Edward Acevedo has now twice taken another cop to court for punching him, and lost pretty quickly each time because he was apparently drunk and ornery toward the cop, but in the process forced Chicago taxpayers to cough up the expenses of defending the other cop. (Bonus: Acevedo is also an Illinois state representative.)

NOTW Lite
Two good compilations made the news yesterday: Slate.com’s story on the powerful Jockey Club, with absolute authority over what you can name your thoroughbred (and thus a list of names that somehow eeked by, like Cunning Stunt, Bodacious Tatas, and Blow Me, but not Sally Hemings) . . and a story on tomorrow’s release of the latest Guinness Book of World Records, with a selection of the doozies (Thomas Vogel of Germany unfastened 56 bras with one hand in 60 seconds) . . . . . Cool: A guy was arrested in Hyannis, Mass., for smoking marijuana, out of an apple.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
There’s no record-keeping on "inches of feces buildup," but just about everything else you want to know about cat ladies and related issues is at the Hoarding of Animals Research Consortium’s website (of Tufts University).

Newsrangers: Susan Sires, Summer Shidler, John Cieciel, Steve Miller, Philip Urban, Kathryn Wood, Joe Weckbacher
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.