Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Tuesday’s 5-Star Special
Nebraska state Sen. Ernie Chambers has filed a lawsuit to, as he says, prove a point, and Yr Editor is eagerly waiting to receive the wisdom to understand that "point." Supposedly, Chambers is for open courts and against those with quick-hit legislation to curb "frivolous" lawsuits. Also, he’s against the judge who has required the rape victim to refer to the act in question as nothing worse than "sex" [NOTW Daily, 6-22-2007]. Chambers’s bright idea? He’s suing God for all the "fearsome floods," "terrifying tornadoes," "horrendous hurricanes," and other alliterative disasters. But political conservatives are the ones most likely to file the anti-frivolous measures, as well as to object to the no-"rape" judge’s ruling. Chambers mocks God further, pointing out that serving the defendant with the lawsuit is difficult, despite his having said, "Come out, come out, wherever you are." [Yr Editor will get back to you if I figure this out.]

Civilization in Decline
Why was it that that paragon of good journalism, the Washington Post, recently censored one of its own syndicate’s stars, Berke Breathed, and why do other editors continue to nearly have seizures at any impugning of Islam? Nerikes Allehanda has the answer for ya . . . . . The gov’t’s reputation is one of oppression and complete control of the Guantanamo detainees, but now two of the men were found with unauthorized underwear (and one with a Speedo swim suit), and the base commander went nuts.

The Human Condition Today
The well-thought-of and quite sane Wayne Buffalo passed away in Gastonia, N.C., saddening fellow residents of his downscale motel ($190/wk) and his many friends, and in clearing out the 5,000 lbs. of stuff from his room, they found a current bank statement showing him $1.4m in the black . . . . . Speaking of friends, here’s a registered sex offender actually getting love and props from his community of Belleville, Ill. . . . . . Patricia Gabrysiak filed a lawsuit because she burned her insides drinking battery acid, which is the fault of the pump repairman who stored his acid (for his return trip) in water-type bottles that wound up in her basement, and of course we all drink from strange-looking bottles in our basements . . . . . The family of accused Texas spree killer Paul Devoe III say it must have been that rattlesnake-bite medicine that turned him because before that, he was just a non-deadly-force career criminal (Bonus: A public defender in New York, where Devoe was captured, tried to calm Devoe’s relatives by pointing out that his extradition to Texas would mean he’d get an attorney qualified to handle capital cases. [Ed.: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!]

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
It’s a typical pedophile sting (say the police), 53-yr-old man, married, flies to another city to hook up with a 5-yr-old girl after promising "her mother" that he’d be really gentle. Except the man is John David Atchison, an Assistant U.S. Attorney in Pensacola, Fla.

NOTW Lite
God successfully warned the Newman United Methodist Church in Grants Pass, Ore. (via two lightning strikes in July), that it had better replace its steeple because the lightning exposed unseen dry rot that was about to bring it crashing down . . . . . The Univ. of Central F State (which lost to Yr Editor’s alma mater UT Longhorns 35-32 Saturday in the first game ever played at the new UCF stadium) has now realized that it maybe was a bad thing to build a $55m stadium with no drinking fountains.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Any day now, Yr Editor will open the back inventory of Prof. Music's pages.

NOTW, The Blog
Yr Editor has now two e-mails from what I assume to be self-righteous Second Life players (maybe not, but they sound like ‘em) who object, with some vehemence, to my having labeled SL a "game" in the current NOTW [9-16-2007]. That they would have such a narrow definition of "game," I assume, is because, y’know, World of Warcraft or other "video games" are beneath their dignity and that SL is a, a, a, well, ask ‘em, and I’ll bet they describe it in fairly lofty, sophisticated terms. Hey, people "play" all kinds of "games," from "playing" the stock market to political "games," dating "games," etc. Besides, many (most?) (nearly all?) SL players are obsessed, it is said, with making money, advancing their social status, and achieving play-like better lives and better relationships for themselves online than they have so far in their daily rat "races." That’s not a game?

Newsrangers: Steve Miller, Karl Olson, John Cieciel, Michael Kozlowski
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.