Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wednesday’s 5-Star Special
Unfortunately for News of the Weird, yesterday was too solemn a day for the really bizarre to be out and about in numbers.

The Human Condition Today
The 1999 side squeeze of U.S. Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana has made her polygraph flat-line (experts say the test’s unreliability rap comes from wrongly labeling people liars rather than wrongly labeling them truth-tellers), that she had a copacetic relationship with the then-Congressional candidate, right up until the moment she told him her real first name, which unfortunately is the same as his wife’s . . . . . A Chinese restaurant worker in New York was spotted (and photographed) stomping the day’s garlic in a big bowl, with his boots on. (A South Dennis, Mass., restaurant was closed down in 1992 when health inspectors spotted a worker draining the day’s cooked cabbage by putting it into cloth laundry bags between two pieces of plywood and then driving over the plywood several times in a truck [NOTW 244, 10-9-1992].) . . . . . has the all-star mugshot of a Minnesota guy who robbed a woman of her purse and cell phone and then, well, started sucking her toes.

Beppe Grillo, a sort-of Italian Tom Dobbs (the balls-out candidate, played by Robin Williams, in Man of the Year), is gaining steam (well, 300,000 names on his petition, plus popular acceptance of his signature phrase "Vaffanculo," which is said to be the Italian equivalent of "[intercourse] you").

Professor Music’s Weird Links
You’d think I’d have plenty of time to review the files, what with the slowness of the news, but you would be wrong.

NOTW, The Blog
Leading candidate at the moment for No Longer Weird-ing: the faulty electrical wiring of the marijuana grow house that leads to a fire, which leads to a fire truck, which leads then, to police and then to handcuffs, as here in Oakland, Calif.

Newsrangers: Bob Pert, Tom Barker.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.