Civilization in Decline
The imminently deadly drought in Georgia up to the Carolinas gets serious: (1) A Tennessee Jack Daniel’s distillery is threatened, and (2) The Int’l [Field] Hockey Federation still requires that its artificial-turf fields get heavily watered down every day (for practice, too), and Duke and UNC are in compliance! . . . . . New Jersey will vote in November on whether to adopt euphemistic language in its constitution for the provision denying suffrage to "idiots" . . . . . Families with Too Much Money: Susan Henken’s, of Dover, Mass., after the Washington Post reported that she and her two teenagers (13 and 15) each gave the maximum $2,300 to Mitt Romney’s campaign, which Susan said represented (for the kids) not illegal parental contributions but the kids' baby- and dog-sitting money.
The Human Condition Today
West Virginia women lead the nation . . in pregnant smokers (but it’s not a bug, it’s a feature, in that some of them say they do it on purpose to have small babies so it won’t hurt so much) . . . . . It’s illegal in the state of Western Australia for a woman to crush empty beer cans between her breasts (well, if you’ve got a hotelier’s license, it is) . . . . . In this corner, a convenience store robber; in that corner, Ms. Hafize Sahin, 5-feet, 90 lbs., and the outcome was not even close (Bonus: surveillance video).
Your Daily Loser
Timothy Short allegedly stole a fancy printer from a Missouri state office, to make his own driver’s licenses, but was busted when he had to call up tech support to order a printer driver.
In Stuttgart, Germany, a lobster prison break! . . . . . Starbuck’s, massages, pallets of fresh fruit, people making sandwiches for you—ahhh, it’s good to be in an emergency evacuation shelter in southern California!
The District of Calamity’s committee that hires administrative law judges will not renew the contract (the Washington Post reports, based on a leak) of the $54m-dry-cleaning-lawsuit judge Roy Pearson (prompting Pearson, perhaps, to ask, er, What comes after "gazillion"?) . . . . . The latest of those crazy Japanese ice cream flavors: ramen.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
And another ingenious Japanese product: the portable crosswalk mat that you carry, rolled up, until you need to lay it down in the street to get traffic to come to a stop while you cross.
Newsrangers: Cristi Breden, Tim Trewhella, Karl Olson, James Wicht, Charlie Rovner
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.