Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Civilization in Decline
The singer Donovan said he’ll open the "Invincible Donovan University" in Scotland to make sure students get a well-rounded education in all of the Transcendental Meditation arts (and his pal, the director David Lynch, said that, since Scotland is so small, only "250" yogics would be needed to "protect Scotland from its enemies and to bring peace, to stop violence and drug abuse") (NOTW’s previous reports on TM as the key to world peace and crimelessness: [NOTW 915, 8-21-2005] [NOTW 607, 9-24-1999]) . . . . . Prime Minister Hun Sen of Cambodia warned countrymen not to discriminate against gays (in the same speech in which he said, with little explanation, that he was filing papers to disown his newly-uncloseted lesbian adopted daughter).

The Human Condition Today
More stats on pet surgery (in the UK): hundreds of cancerous jaw removals a yr; eight open-heart surgeries; "increasingly common" cataract removal; "widespread" dog hip replacements (and elbow replacements coming along, too) . . . . . A Minnesota woman said she’ll press abuse charges against a former friend who volunteered to care for her pig but allowed it to balloon from 50 lbs. to 150 . . . . . The Alabama Ku Klux Klan and the national Ku Klux Klan LLC protested the racial slurs, etc., of the National Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and want the movement cleansed of the latter’s "ignorance and stupidity" . . . . . A Huntersville, N.C., optometrist was arrested for conducting eye exams of female patients way lower down than on their eyes (Bonus: He may have a defense, in that his own eyes, according to the mugshot, aren’t aligned just right, plus his head appears Photoshopped onto his neck) . . . . . Wayne Scullino of Sydney, Australia, fell in love with the Green Bay Packers at age 15, and he’s 30 now, and his devotion was killing him, and so he and the wife recently moved to Green Bay.

Sounds Like a Joke: A researcher estimated that more than one-third of U.S. high school football players have had sex with other males (but the research sample size: 19 of 47 former high school football players who went on to become college cheerleaders).

Here’s a good piece on the late Robert Shields, the guy I mentioned yesterday who kept a diary of his life in 5-minute segments (filling 91 boxes) . . . . . New Jersey announced in January that a toxic waste dump in Ringwood was acting up and that residents in the area should thus limit their consumption of, er, squirrels, but, now, great news!: The scare is over, and squirrel casseroles are back.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

NOTW, The Blog
(1) A guy named Robert Stewart is supposedly in some deep trouble in Ayr, Scotland, having "admitted to sexual breach of the peace" and being officially placed on the "sex offenders’ register." His "offense" was that he was "caught" by two workers at Aberley House Hostel, who barged in with a master key to find Stewart with his pants down, holding a bicycle, and "moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Two problems occur, of course, the lesser of which is that Scotland is apparently super-cautious about the health and safety of all its bicycles in that it feels it must keep sight of Mr. Stewart in the future via the "sex offenders’ register." The larger problem is that the story, as reported, contains no "breach of the peace," sexual or otherwise. If one cannot hump a bicycle in the privacy of his own locked room, we Americans should once again be grateful to our forefathers for liberating us from British-cum-UK control 231 yrs ago. Or, maybe the story's a hoax. . . . . . (2) The slam-dunk evidence of a photographed ghost in the Santa Fe, N.Mex., courthouse was revealed to be an insect on the camera lens. (Said a paranormal skeptic/investigator, "[P]eople typically say something is unexplained, and all that means is they haven’t worked hard enough to look for an explanation.")

Newsrangers: Dave Null, Gerald Sacks, Steve Miller, Ginger Katz, Jamie Anderson
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.