Monday, October 01, 2007

Monday’s 5-Star Special
Australian researchers, tackling the difficult problem of their Brahmen cattle’s meat being tougher than British cattle’s, and vexed by the high cost of artificial insemination, now propose just to remove stem cells from the gonads of superior-stud British bulls and transplant them into those of Brahmen (no matter how much that hurts the feelings of the Aussie bulls).

Civilization in Decline
Gen. Petraeus’s daily salary in Iraq works out to a little less than half what the head of a 34-man Blackwater security team in Iraq makes a day (because of layers of subcontracting, with each layer getting its own profit), reports the Washington Post] [link from Slate.com] . . . . . The sheriff in Orlando announced that the department has purchased 14, er, elephant guns . . . . . It may be safer than eating pufferfish, but travel on African airlines is still, uh, 18x more dangerous than on other airlines, and that stat only counts airplanes with more than 15 seats [Wall Street Journal, paid-subscription only, until Rupert makes up his mind].

The Human Condition Today
Habitat for Humanity in Tyler, Tex., still says Derrick Hodges is on schedule to get a house he signed up for, even though in the interim the cops have become pretty sure he’s a serial bank-robber . . . . . The disgraced Clinton fund-raiser Norman Hsu now says that the 1992 no-contest plea he made (which he ran out on and stayed on the lam until this year) should be tossed out, seein’ as how his judge retired 7 yrs ago . . . . Video journalist in India, ahead of the curve: It’s a slow news day, he said to the despondent man, but if you kill yourself on camera, we can both be winners! (response: "Well . . OK") . . . . . Enough said: Fist-fighting nuns! . . . . . An Ohio court rejected Adam Smith’s murder appeal; Smith had stuck to his story that, yes, OK, he stabbed his wife 36 times, but that was only because he was disoriented after panicking when he discovered her already-dead, suicided body.

NOTW Lite
Recurring Theme: A home for the disabled in Schilde, Belgium, is the latest in Europe to declare that its residents have the human right to get it on and that if they don’t have partners, partners will be provided for them (although the home will have to seek special funding since "sex" is not an approved remedy under the country’s health insurance).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
The ever-handy website of Texas politician Larry Kilgore doesn’t just tell you where he stands on a number of issues, such as murder and child molestation (he’s against them), but tells you specifically why they’re bad, i.e., child-mo is bad not because it ruins the kid’s innocence and scars her or him for life, but, well, because Exodus 21:15-16 and Deuteronomy 22:25-27 and 24-7 say so. And, for example, pornography, public nudity, and transvestism require flogging, but only a max of 40 lashes (although the 40 might apply only to pre-capital punishment for murder, 1 Peter 2:20, and not ordinary-crime flogging). Quite useful.

NOTW, The Blog
Yr Editor relies a lot on BBC News, whose reputation for wearing its political biases in its reporting is growing slightly worse each year, but now BBC is actually admitting to fixing four supposedly straight-up (and inconsequential) website contests . . . . . Not news, but highly recommended reading: How to tell whether you need to reduce not your "carbon footprint," but your "ass[hoal] footprint," e.g., "Before you go out bicycling, do you first change into iridescent spandex shorts and a skintight spandex shirt with a gaudy pattern recalling a 1990s screen saver?" [VanityFair.com, link via Fark.com] . . . . . Ex-judge Florentino Floro [NOTW Daily, 9-17-2007, 9-19-2007] has now added Yr Editor to his Facebook friends list [Ed.: Can someone help me out here . . Nothing bad’ll happen to me just by being added to a friends list, will there?] . . . . . And by the way, NOTW Daily might be thin and a little sporadic this week because Yr Editor is in Phase II of the home repair project started in August; if all goes well, Yr Editor will not be repairing anything else, ever, no matter what, ever, until at least the year 2015.

Newsrangers: Emory Kimbrough, Joe Littrell, Dave Null, Ginger Katz, Paul Music, Rob Snyder, Tom Barker.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.