Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Wednesday’s 5-Star Special
The latest NY Post tally of rubber-roomed employees of the city Dept. of Education is, gulp, 757. That’s people accused of wrongdoing, who, by their Santa Claus union contracts, are paid their full salaries (from, in these cases, $42k to $93k) while barred from doing a lick of work.


Civilization in Decline
SCOTUS said yesterday, in essence, that if Alabama citizens need to get themselves off, they’ll just have to use their fingers . . . . . It’s finally dawning on firefighters that they’re over-risking their lives to protect the fancy property of rich people who just have to live in the middle of beautiful, expensive fire traps. . . . . A North Carolina school system, mighty impressed with the anti-sexual-harassment presentation by a former teacher, might have wondered how she knew her subject so well (Oh . . that’s why).


The Human Condition Today
Diabolical: The makers of Thomas & Friends toys recalled a million units for having high-lead paint, then sent all the disappointed little tykes substitute toys as goodwill gestures, and, mu-hu-ha-ha-ha, they overleaded the subs, too, mu-hu-ha-ha-ha! . . . . . A Taiwanese judge OK’d a divorce on the ground that the wife had sworn to cut her husband’s wahoo off for infidelity (Bonus: Her name is Huang) . . . . . Shut off your cell phones if you have to go to court, especially if your ringtone is "Oh yeah! . . oh yeah! . . do it to me!" . . . . . A "Be afraid, be very afraid" public warning for Brampton, Ontario, to watch out for this choirboy-looking guy . . . . . Apparently, the state fair of the great presidential-primary (er, caucuses) state of Iowa has an "erotic corndog-eating" contest, which, if they don’t shut it down soon, will be converted into one of those Wolf Blitzer "raise your hand if you" debate questions . . . . . Yr Editor gave you the fist-fighting nuns on Monday, and now, fist-fighting preachers in the F State . . . . . And the Catholic Bishop of Gallup, N.Mex., might be having some trouble, in that he told police that 3 women and a man, wearing masks, came to his home for unknown reasons, and all were between three and four feet tall.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
"Well, what do you think of my naked body?" asked Jeffrey Long of Salisbury, Md., in a call to the CVS photo developer (Bonus: The plan was doomed, anyway, so this mug shot is just piling on the guy).

NOTW Lite
Fearless (and pessimistic) political prediction for first-time Texas Republican Congressional candidate: He’ll have a rough time, that guy named John Manlove (but on the other hand, he’s already a mayor!) . . . . . The annual IgNobel awards for curaaa-zee science achievements will be announced in Boston tomorrow night . . . . . This is why you have sophisticated journalist organizations creating those flashy news sites to attract "younger" readers: If a legit story out of United Arab Emirates is about one man’s donkey eating a shopper’s money at a market, you can use the hed, "Ass Chewing Leads to Fight" . . . . . A group of eight Providence, R.I., performance artists created a 750 sq. ft. space in the bowels of the local showcase mall four yrs ago and went undetected until recently, camping there, moving two tons of stuff in and out with relative ease, and video-documenting the whole thing (and yes, the mall does have security guards on the payroll).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
This apparently is the go-to site for those planning nuptials for their little doggies (tuxes, gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, and other things that make us thankful that dogs don’t embarrass easily).

NOTW, The Blog
Yr Editor didn’t mean to leave out Professor Music’s Weird Links yesterday, but in the course of working among three computers, I forgetfully used an old template for NOTW Daily and didn’t notice that PMWL wasn’t on it. Had it been on the template, of course, the entry would have read, "Not today. Maybe tomorrow."

Newsrangers: Todd Yarger, Karl Olson, Paul Di Filippo
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.