Thursday, November 01, 2007

Civilization in Decline
A German entrepreneur announced the launch of an all-death TV channel (funerals, death announcements, documentaries about cemeteries) . . . . . 21 of the 28 2004 Madrid train bombers were convicted, with three receiving almost 40,000 yrs each in prison (but Spanish law will allow them 39,960 yrs off for good behavior) . . . . . Mixed reviews for University of Delaware’s re-education camp—er, mandatory racial and gender sensitization training (i.e., the way I think is the best way; now, y’all come on and think like I do, OK?).

The Human Condition Today
Irish judge Denis McLoughlin reduced the speeding charge against David Clarke (caught doing 180km/hr), specifically pointing out that it was only 108 miles/hr, which doesn’t seem so fast to him.

Your Daily Loser
A 47-yr-old man, sitting in his cubicle at Boenker Insurance near Fort Worth, Tex., accidentally fumbled with the handgun he liked to bring to work in his coat pocket and shot himself (one bullet, both legs).

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Dr. Paul Schum, the principal of the Catholic Bethlehem High School in Bardstown, Ky., was picked up in an alley late at night dressed as a woman, in leather, with fishnet stockings and fake breasts. A local pastor, classically looking for the good in Dr. Schum, told WAVE-TV that, well, after all, it is Halloween season.

Part of the disorderly conduct conviction of Jason Kaminski in West Chester, Pa., was for kicking the guy’s car and part was for removing his shirt and flashing the guy with his tattoo of (probably, we don’t know for sure) the familiar two-word admonition ending in "you."

Round One went to the York, Pa., family of the Marine whose funeral was picketed by Rev. Fred Phelps and the lesser Phelpses as part of their campaign, i.e., pick a dead, heterosexual serviceman and use his funeral to blast America for coddling homosexuals); a jury awarded the family $2.9m plus $8m punitive damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress, but this case has U.S. Supreme Court written all over it.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Those of you anticipating your first hard-time prison sentence will want to rush to Stephen Donaldson’s primer on becoming some punk’s bitch. He runs through advantages and disadvantages and offers tips on choosing your daddy carefully, learning to suck so well that daddy won’t even get around to the other thing, dealing with your fear that you’ll then be a lifetime bitch even when you get out, etc.

NOTW, The Blog
Reminder: Yr Editor will not publish tomorrow but will be back on Saturday, November 3, and will resume 5-day publishing for probably the next two weeks, after which it’ll be 6-day publishing again. Probably.

Newsrangers: Emory Kimbrough, Bob Pert, Mark Neunder
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.