Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday’s 5-Star Special
I'm afraid today's not very inspiring, either.

Civilization in Decline
Italian Marco Ahmetovic received a mostly-house-arrest sentence because, after all, he cooperated with authorities after his arrest for inebriatedly, fatally plowing into four teenagers, but now he’s using his home time to manufacture and market his own perfumes, watches, jeans, and sunglasses (though he says he doesn’t intend to profit) (though he has an agent who seems to think "non-profit" is an obscene word).

The Human Condition Today
Another armed robber not quite ready for prime time: Santos Zelaya, 21, ran off empty-handed after mugg-ee Reinaldo Herrera, 72, started beating on him . . . . . F State Crime Report: In Fort Pierce, a 300-lb. prostitute snatched a man’s wallet on the street and, furthermore, rode off on the man’s bicycle (Bonus: stale stock photo suggesting website editor is a robot) . . . . . More F State drama: Olester Duncan tried to get a 4-pack of Schlitz Malt Liquor down from a cooler’s shelf, and a can hit him in the head, which means "Lawsuit!" against Albertson’s supermarkets plus the distributor plus Pabst plus Miller plus Lakefront Brewery plus Stroh, because he suffered "serious and grievous" injuries, disability, disfigurement, mental anguish, and loss of capacity for joy (and his wife claims to be out hubby’s "services").

Your Daily Loser
Unclear on the Concept: Francis Rocca pleaded not guilty to armed robbery in Pittsfield, Mass., but it’ll be an uphill fight because the victim said he could easily ID the pimply-faced Rocca through his "disguise," which was a clear-plastic bag pulled over his head.

The Wall Street Journal reported a fascinating story Thursday about what some believe is the world’s best beer, and it’s made in severely limited quantity by Trappist monks in Westvleteren, Belgium (brewing it with a "slightly sweet, heavily alcoholic [up to 10%], fruity aftertaste"). The monks sell it for the equivalent of about $1.50 a bottle, but unless you wait outside the monastery gates on brewing day, you’ll be paying the equivalent of $15-$20 per . . . . . Manish Rajpurohit, 18, is OK now, but not last February when a bus crash left a 4-ft-long metal rail embedded in his noggin, from right between the eyes through the rear base of his skull (and it was out in the sticks of India, four hours from Bangalore and actual medical care) . . . . . The ultimate "found my [long-lost keepsake] years later" story: Aaron Giles’s childhood ID bracelet turned up 25 yrs later in a chicken gizzard.

Ooooh, I hate to scoop myself, but this week a Mayville, Wis., commission turned down the request of a group home to house two miniature horses on the premises, for therapeutical purposes, as authorized under certain conditions by the federal Americans With Disabilites Act (but prohibited, under all conditions, apparently, by local zoning laws). All the residents had going for them, apparently, was that a doctor or two said the horses would help them, but the ADA, though lenient, requires more, said the commission. Now, then, I just scooped myself because NOTW M034, which will appear beginning Sunday, 12-2-2007, has a Vermont story of just about the same theme, but with the bonus that the resident has asserted that her horse will be easily housebroken!

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

NOTW, The Blog
(1) Ouch! Just received a press release notifying me that "Cynthia Ceilan" has published a book that looks to be direct competition for the mega-successful Darwin Awards (three volumes so far), and she’s entitled it, er, gulp, Thinning the Herd.
(2) Yr Editor knows that greenhouse gas emissions are a way-serious problem, but still, . . ..: Here’s a British engineer’s compilation of the seemingly-zillion things that "global warming" is supposedly causing (more than, er, 600 reports linked. (And while I’m at it, here’s his list of what causes cancer.) [Links via].

Newsrangers: Orlando Segura, Mindy Cohen
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.